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When God Speaks Through A Border Collie

hollymarietong Encouragement , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , 0 Comment
When God Speaks Through A Border Collie

Almost 6 years ago, I made my way to a couple shelters to look at dogs.  It was Good Friday and my sister was persistent that we do so.  I reminded her that a dog is a huge responsibility and that we were just “looking.”  I insisted that we were not getting a dog just for the sake of getting a dog, and that I would only consider adopting one if I fell in love and experienced a true connection.

The first time I met Rosco, he looked depressed and withdrawn.  The other dogs around him were jumping, barking and trying to get our attention.  But, I found myself drawn to the quiet one.  He wanted my attention, but he was incredibly subtle about it.  It didn’t hurt that he was a 5 month old puppy and couldn’t get any cuter if he tried.  When I went to put him back in his cage after our acquaintance time, he didn’t want to go.  Even though he was shy about it, the connection was mutual.  He wanted me to be in his life, and I knew it. Still, I knew this was a big decision and didn’t want to make it on impulse.  In fact, I made myself drive away to “think about it.” Within an hour, I drove back to the Nashville Humane Association as quickly as I could, ran to the front desk and said I wanted to adopt “Herman.” I immediately renamed him “Rosco,” and the rest is history.

I never did find out much about his history before life with us.  I just knew his heart was hurting and that he was sad to be surrendered.  Though he let me pick him up and hung out near me in the beginning, he was pretty introverted in our early days.  I could tell I needed to earn his trust.

Over time, I noticed I was earning that trust I longed for.  It wasn’t long before he was jumping up on my bed and sleeping next to me.

[Rosco was before the days of Kyle and Clara].

We have quite a history together.  Prior to the year 2014 when my sister moved in, I was super independent.  I never really had to look after anyone, but me.  Between my sister and then Rosco, I finally felt like I was getting a taste of parenting.

The one thing I never did understand about Rosco early on was the fact that he could never seem to enjoy car rides like the average dog does.  I thought if we simply went on more car rides, he would grow more comfortable and trusting of them – but he never did.  Now, here we are years and years later, and his car ride anxieties remain.

It didn’t take me long to figure out that something negative clearly once happened to him on a car ride.  My best guess has always been that he remembers his car ride to the humane society where his previous owners left him and never returned.

Anyone who has a border collie understands what I’m about to say:  Their mind is said to be very similar to that of a toddler.  They are known to be incredibly smart, and they seemingly have a remarkable strong memory.  Their deep thinking disposition can be good and bad.  Unfortunately, Rosco spends A LOT of time in his head and forgets how to just be a dog.  He seldom understands how to be carefree. So many times I’ve wished he would just wag his tail and immediately accept every person and dog he meets without question, but I know that isn’t him.  If he’s scolded in any way, you can rest assured, he will hang on to that correction, until I say, “It’s okay, Buddy. ”  My words usually aren’t enough.  I often have to pet him and give him a treat to assure him that we are “good again.”  Many nights, he goes and lays in his bed located in our master bedroom and just hangs out by himself:  Likely overthinking life.  The mind is always going, and I see it when I look at him…..especially in the car.

Whether he goes on a short drive to the lake or a long car trip to Ohio, he tenses up, pants and is unable to enjoy the view around him.  His shedding gets even worse than it already is (and his normal shedding is already really bad), and he refuses to eat or drink anything unless the car is completely stopped.  I try to pet and encourage him.  I try to tell him we are just going to see his grandparents.  Over and over again I’ve said:  “Rosco, buddy.  I’m not taking you to the pound.  It’s been “x” amount of years now.  When are you going to trust me and realize I love you, and I’m keeping you?  You should know me by now.”

I found myself thinking about that today.  What is it going to take for him to trust me? He’s 6 1/2 years old, and he’s been with me for a majority of his life now.  Haven’t I proven myself?  Doesn’t he know my track record?  Can’t he just simply remember all of those car rides that ended well?  Why does he still think about the one that didn’t?  Why is that one time still his dominating thought pattern?  Why can he not just accept the treats and water I try giving him?  I’m trying to nourish his body on those road trips.  Why does he reject my help and instead choose fear?

But then, I sensed God turning it back to me.  Something along these lines was placed on my heart:  Sometimes you’re a lot like Rosco, Holly.  We’ve been together a long time now. I’ve proven my faithfulness to you over and over again.  Sometimes instead of rehearsing all of those past victories that you’ve experienced through me – you sometimes still find yourself thinking about the traumas and disappointments you’ve experienced instead.  At times, you’ve let the bad outweigh the good.  Sometimes you get so taken up with your fears and anxieties that you struggle to nourish your mind, body and soul with what I’ve already provided you with.  Sometimes you get so focused on the “what ifs” and what you’re afraid of that you forget to enjoy the view and the beauty around you.  Haven’t I shown you enough to where you too can sit back, take a deep breath, relax and take in the beauty around you?  Haven’t I shown you enough to where you too can “just be,” sometimes?  I said I will NEVER leave you nor forsake you, and I meant it.  I won’t take it back.  You are my child, and I want to continue to take care of you.  It’s time you believe me, my child.

…..And there it was.

Perhaps I have a standard for my dog that I myself cannot always meet. Perhaps he has learned to trust me in most areas, but has struggled to trust me with that one.  Maybe I’m a little like that too.  Maybe I give God most of the rooms of my house, but maybe I hold back on giving him that one area. Maybe one day, I’ll squash all my fears, remember His track record, trust him so much that I forget all my fears, sit back, completely relax and just enjoy the view.

Maybe one day, Rosco will do the same too.  In the meantime though, I’ll continue to give him grace, pet him, comfort him, offer him treats and water and dab anti-anxiety essential oil on him – because I love him, and it’s my job to care for him.  I’m not going anywhere, and I want to remind him of that promise even if he doesn’t always readily accept it.  I will continue to pursue him.  He is my fur child.  We are in this thing together.

Wow.  It’s true:  God can even speak through border collies.

“Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.”  -Deuteronomy 31:6

Let Us Never Forget This Hour

hollymarietong Encouragement , , , , , , , , , , , , , 2 Comments
Let Us Never Forget This Hour

For one of the first times in the history, we all have something in common.  I’m not just talking about Americans.  I’m talking about our brothers and sisters in other nations.

This aggravating, disgusting virus may be one weird way of linking us together…..but it is one thing COVID-19 has accomplished besides sickness, death, greed, panic, fear and unrest.  [As always, God is always in the business of bringing something good out of the bad that he does NOT cause….but we will get into that later].

Now, we’ve always had a FEW things in common prior to this chaos:  We are all part of the human race, created by the same God.  We all bleed red.  We all need oxygen, food and water to live.  We all desire shelter, and a majority of us desire love.  We are sons and daughters and many of us have spouses and children. Yes, we’ve always had a FEW things in common, but now, we have more similarities than ever before.

We are all facing a certain level of uncertainty.  Whether upper, middle or lower class….we are all somewhat in the same boat.  Whether a public figure or a private figure, we can relate to one another.  Yes, money and status still doesn’t hurt, but it can only do so much to help a person right now.

It may mean you can stock up on a few more groceries and some extra supplements….and it may mean you can quarantine in a larger home with more entertainment present….but it doesn’t mean you are excused from the virus.  It doesn’t mean your job is secure.

The world hasn’t stopped spinning, but our individual lives are a bit on pause.  Oh, they’re moving alright.  But, most of us cannot accomplish what we normally can.

Yes, our medical professionals, first responders, truck drivers, grocery store workers, factory workers and farmers courageously remain at work…..so that we can eat and remain healthy.

Some of us (both my husband and I) are still able to work from our laptops at home.

Still….for most…..

The corporate ladder climbing has been postponed.

Rush hour is now quiet hour.

The games, concerts and movies will just have to wait.

…..There aren’t any sports scores to check.

……Pop culture is suffering.  It’s so much quieter.  Being famous is suddenly so much less important than it once was.  (Which I have to admit is one of the few things I haven’t minded).  Even most celebrity news in some way mentions COVID-19.

…..The daily selfies and self-promotion posts have decreased.  Narcissism cannot thrive quite like it once did.  At the least, the narcissist is getting less validation these days.

At this moment in time, we are all one in the same.  In this hour, it’s become apparent who the real heroes are……and they are the first responders, medical professionals, farmers, truckers, factory workers, grocery store workers, teachers, etc.  They’ve always been the heroes, but they’re just now finally getting the recognition they’ve always deserved.  I’m enjoying that fact, if not much else.

Yes.  In this hour…the sports are ripped away.  The music is quieter. Filming of our favorite TV shows is now halted.  Travel is suspended.

What is most important, is now staring right at us…..in this hour.

…Because in this hour we are forced to look at our homes and forced to examine our relationship with the people in them.

People are more concerned with essentials than they are with luxuries.

……..Nearly all the distractions are gone.  The noise is off.

…….The bare bones of our world have been exposed.  The chance to look at what matters and what doesn’t is here.

Until now, have we been filling our lives with a lot of clutter we don’t need?  When it comes right down to it, have we been carrying a load we don’t need to carry?  Is our version of productivity really productivity?

I’ve certainly been guilty of living fruitlessly, all while having good intentions.  I’ve stayed busy, thinking busy made me productive.  Is it just me, or do we all do that from time to time?

Do we ever find ourselves sincerely seeking God in crisis, tragedy and uncertainty…..but then, when life turns to normal do we kind of just revert back to our normal, comfortable, way of living?  Do we just kind of get unhealthily busy with the things of this world all over again?

I can’t help but think about 9-11.

Remember how we all came together and prayed during that time?

You can say we didn’t forget 9-11….and I wouldn’t say we did entirely….BUT if we had remembered it as we should…..how did pop culture, greed and living contrary to the Bible become so prominent and popular again?

Why did the things of this world very clearly become idols again?

This country may not have forgotten the tragedy, but it seems that the stillness was forgotten.  It seems that the mindset was forgotten.

The “being thankful for every day and living every day like it’s your last” mindset hasn’t seemed to be the continued sentiment by and large.  I’m not pointing my finger or speaking to one person.  I’m not saying I’m not sometimes guilty myself.

Do some live every day thankful like I speak of?  OF COURSE.  Maybe you’re reading this right now and thinking, hey, I’ve never left that mindset.

I myself like to think I’ve always been a very thankful, never take anything for granted person.  I’ve been living that way for awhile…..but I have to admit I wasn’t quite expecting people to start fighting over toilet paper just yet.  I’m speaking of the general tone of our fast-paced, selfish world, here.

Somewhere along the way we all become too busy again.

Too concerned about the temporary and the fleeting.

Overly concerned about celebrities and athletes who don’t even know or care that we exist.

When things like 9-11 and COVID-19 happen, we see how powerless we are.

We have to question if our usual busyness is really fruitfulness……or if it is in fact just uselessness?

If America truly let 9-11 change it, why has God’s face been spat in so much for the past 19 years?

Why does this nation forget God when things go back to normal?

Will the same happen with COVID-19?  Will this nation forget that we aren’t automatically entitled to a well-stocked grocery store?  That we aren’t entitled to good health?  Our jobs?  Traveling?  A full sports arena?  A night out with friends?  Being able to physically attend our churches?

Maybe we should live every day more like we did during 9-11 and like we do during COVID-19…..more like we are in a quarantine where every single item and person we have is a blessing.

Stop…..smell the flowers…..cherish the fresh air….be thankful.

If you live in Nashville, you also recently experienced the tornado RIGHT before the pandemic hit.  We never really had a break.  We went straight from disaster to pandemic.  Though we personally were blessed to be missed by about 0.4 of a mile, we spent days without power.

Nearby homes and businesses were destroyed.  Lives were lost. I felt guilty for even wishing the power would come back on.  It seemed so petty.  So not fair.

….And I will never ever forget taking shelter in that bathtub holding my innocent, sleeping, (almost 8 mo. old), daughter.  Suddenly NOTHING else mattered except her safety, my husband’s safety, my dog’s safety and our salvation.

As I heard the tornado loud and clear, it sounded like the loudest jet I’ve ever heard (and we live close to the airport).

For a second, I thought about how “this” could be it.

But deep down, I believed we were being protected….and that we still had more to do for the kingdom.

And there it is guys.

Why don’t we live every day as if nothing else matters except love, the word of God and everyone’s salvation?  Why don’t we live every day thankful that God has given us another chance?

There is nothing wrong in itself with entertainment, sports, music and things that aren’t especially significant…..But maybe [with] those things, we should live every day a little more like we do during a national pandemic or a natural disaster.

Electricity?  It’s a blessing.  Food?  Some are going hungry.  Water?  Some are experiencing dehydration.

Every bite we take…..every drop of water we drink….it’s a blessing.

The roof over our head….it’s a blessing.

The cars we drive and our access to gas..it’s a blessing.

The people in our home….they’re a blessing.

Being able to find things like milk, eggs, meat, bread, toilet paper and paper towels…..what a blessing.

Having the freedom to sit in church….Wow.  Amazing.

Getting a regular paycheck that allows you to pay your bills.  What did you do to ever deserve it?

Now, I know in the middle of crisis, people are quick to question God.  Over the years, my Pastor has been so helpful in this area.  His teachings have truly transformed my life.  He has helped me and so many others to see that God is not a car-wrecking, cancer-causing God.  He’s a loving creator.

We, however, are living in a cursed world with a bad devil….where sometimes bad things do happen to good people.  And if these bad things do happen?  We ALWAYS have the hope of heaven, as long as we choose to.  The devil can never ever take away our eternal hope, unless we let him.  His time to wreck havoc is short….very short.  So there you have it….good God, bad devil, cursed world.

No.  God did not create this virus.  No.  He did not bring the tornado through Nashville to teach us something.  No.  He did not just sit back and allow 9-11. But guess what?  He can be found in the midst of our pain.  As I said earlier, he is in the business of bringing good out of the bad.  He knows how to turn things around.

I DO believe he is wanting to work in this hour in a way unlike anything we’ve ever seen.

If God cannot get our attention in this pandemic….then when can He?

Maybe if we lived every day like finding a pack of meat was the highlight of our day, then he just may have our attention?

Maybe if we lived every day like we aren’t entitled to hosting our child’s birthday celebration….we may be making some serious progress in the thankfulness department?

Maybe if we lived every day like a wedding reception is a very special and unusual blessing….we just may be changing as people.

Maybe if we lived every day like hanging out in pajamas, holding your child longer and reading a few more books to him or her, is heaven on earth…..just maybe, we may be allowing God to reach and teach us?

Right now, we have a chance to organize….a chance to purge.  A chance to get our homes together.  But I’m not just talking about our homes.  I’m talking about our lives.  We have a chance to call old friends and to reach out.  A chance to love and treat our families better than we ever have. A chance to spend more time in prayer and in the word of God.

We don’t have after school activities, PTA or girl’s nights out.

Even old broadway is more silent than its ever been. We will just have to find something else to do.

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With all of that said, do I think we are in the last, last days?

Only God knows for sure.  I have many reasons and scriptures I can point to which make me believe we are…but remember, God’s timeline is not ours.  In Heaven where life is eternal, 20 years on earth is but a drop in the bucket, and very well could be considered the last last days.  So the last, last days COULD mean we have another 20-400 years here on earth.  I don’t know.  Only God knows.  I’m not claiming to know the day or the hour, but if you follow prophecy at all….we are getting strong warnings that we need to take heed and be ready.  It’s time for us to prioritize and examine what really matters. It’s time for us to eliminate what isn’t fruitful or necessary. Regardless of if Christ is coming now, or 20 years from now….we need to be ready.

Thankfully, when we have the hope of heaven, we do not have to fear the last days.  We can simply enjoy the here and now…..but we can live life knowing that the best is yet to come.

But still….our earthly lives can change in an instant.  Nashvillians know that for not one but TWO reasons lately.

That tornado ripping through could’ve changed any of our lives in an instant.  About as soon as we got our power back and our grocery stores operating as normal…..then came the quarantine.  We could’ve never predicted what March and April (and possibly longer) was going to look like.

In that same way that our lives can change in an instant, why don’t people remember that Christ can come back in an instant?  Why wouldn’t He?  Remember, He says he will come like a thief in the night.  We cannot always predict that next tornado or that next worldwide virus pandemic, but we CAN know for sure that He is coming back at some point….so why do we prepare less or not at all…. for what we know is FOR SURE?

The only certain thing is Jesus Christ….and thank goodness that’s a certainty!  We can live in peace no matter what our current circumstances may look like.  If the worst thing we fear will happen, happens, then we just go to heaven, right?  And let me tell you, fear does NOT exist in heaven.

Do I think we are going to pull through this and have some beautiful and prosperous days ahead here on earth?  I do.  I really do.  I don’t know for how long, but I do believe God has A LOT he still wants to do. As the noise and distractions are turned off, I believe God is moving mountains and transforming lives.  I believe he’s doing an amazing work in our nation and in our world.  I believe this is actually a beautiful time to be alive.  Can it be scary?  Of course.  Even though the Bible tells us over and over and over again not to fear, I’d be lying if I were to say that I never have here and there moments of fear.

I’d also be lying if I were to say I never have sad or discouraging days.  In fact, right before I wrote this blog, I was starting to have one of those.  Then, God reminded me that the best way to get over my sadness is to encourage others today.  He reminded me that he put this post on my heart weeks ago.  And as I write this, I’m feeling less and less discouraged.

As my pastor also recently said, “I don’t get down.  I’m either up…or I’m getting up!”

That is me today.  I’m having to get up.  But as I’m taking in what I’m typing….I’m almost completely back on my feet.

You can be too.

And here you are.  

YOU.  I believe God sees YOU as a potential warrior and victor.  He otherwise wouldn’t have chosen you to be alive at this hour.  These times are not for the weak and the faint at heart.  [However, without him, we can certainly feel both weak and faint at heart].  I believe there is a reason he has each and every one of us here for this hour.

He is the one who created heaven and earth and pre-plans everything…and HE decided a long time ago, that you and I, and our children should be here for a time such as this.  That must mean we ALL have great potential and value that can very positively contribute to this world.

I believe this is a time of a worldwide awakening.  I believe He is going to open eyes and transform hearts.  I believe he is going to restore and renew.  I also believe he is going to expose corruption and clean house in this nation.  I believe there had to be a time such as this for certain things to be brought to light (that is a different blog for a different day, so I will end that topic there).

Remember though, God finds a way to bring good out of the bad.  He works all things together for the good of those who love him.

So if you find yourself bored?  Get into the word.  There’s no better time than now.  Write a friend a handwritten letter.  Organize that messy drawer.  Scrapbook.  Start a blog.  FaceTime an old friend.  There’s no better time to catch up than now.

Surprisingly I haven’t had any shortage of things to do during the quarantine.  In fact, my house is still not where I want it to be.  We do work from home (right now, 5 days a week), so from 8-4:30 each day, my work life does go on as normal.  I guess maybe I have an excuse to STILL feel behind?  But as I focus on what is truly important, I don’t feel so bad about what’s left undone.

So in the meantime, I’m spending a lot of time with my daughter, husband and dog.  [Let’s just say, this quarantine is Rosco’s dream come true.  He never has liked being alone, even if for only a few hours..so this is paradise for him]  I hate the virus situation, but I do cherish the stillness of this time.  I do have peace in this storm.

I plan to print pictures online, and to work on organizing Clara’s photo albums.  I also plan to continue crocheting, writing, organizing the house and working on those projects I’ve been putting off.

I am also going to attend church via livestream (we call it lifestream), every Wednesday and every weekend. This is also my year to read the whole Bible, so you can bet I’m sticking with that plan too….even if I do sometimes get behind for a few days.  I will always find a way to catch back up!  Because guess what? My hope is in Christ, so he deserves all of my attention that he can get.  I’m just glad that I can give him more attention than ever right now.

So yes.  This hour is really really showing us our hope is not in materials, entertainment, the stock market, the economy, possessions, money, jobs, or even other people.

All of the above have always been areas of false hope, but our human nature at times can tempt us into making these things our hope.

But now that the false hopes are ripped away, what is left?  The REAL HOPE!  Our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, is what is left…and thank God for that! He is the same today, yesterday and forever.

We may not know what tomorrow will bring….or even if we have a tomorrow.  But we can know that no matter what comes, we can be safe in his presence.  And with that assurance?  We have nothing to fear.

But as long as we live here on earth……let us never forget this hour…

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10 Simple Reasons Your 30’s Are Better Than Your 20’s

hollymarietong dating, Encouragement, Personal Growth, single life , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , 0 Comment
10 Simple Reasons Your 30’s Are Better Than Your 20’s

I was once terrified of the big 3-0.  Terrified.  Believe me when I say, I have since gotten over that.

Maybe you’re an amazingly satisfied 20-something-old who has just clicked on my post for humor.  Maybe you’re thinking you can’t possibly be convinced that 30 is better.  Well…give me a few minutes to at least try.  First of all, don’t be mad at me.  I’m not telling you that your present isn’t awesome.  I’m simply telling you your future can be even better.  I’m telling you to be excited and optimistic for what’s ahead.

I was once you.  Believe it or not, I was you just a few years ago.  Now, I’m not just 30.  I’ve been a member of the 30’s club for over 3 years now.  In 2 years, I’m going to be halfway through this age bracket.

It’s funny how much I love the very time period in my life I was once so afraid of.  It’s funny how I thought I was losing something.  Little did I know, when I let go of one decade, I was letting go to gain something greater.

Some may look at my social life from 5-10 years ago and say….”But, Holly!  Your life used to be SO much more eventful!”

To them I would say, “You’re right….and that’s why I don’t really miss that time in my life.”

Did I have some incredible times in my 20’s?  YES!  I have stories galore, and I could go on and on and on…..  I would never take back those years, but here are some standard reasons why I have come to believe that 30’s are even better.

  1.  You worry less about what people think.  Do I still care a LITTLE sometimes?  Sure, but not NEARLY as much as I did as a 20-something-year-old.  As long as I’m being a good representative for Christ, I’m pretty much good with whatever people think, whether it’s that I gained a few pounds, or that I have a few more wrinkles than I used to.  They can even think I’m weird or speculate about my personal life while they’re at it for all I care. Unless they’re paying my bills or determining my future in any big way…..I’m not losing a wink of sleep at night.
  2. You’re simply more secure in your own skin.  While I still believe in looking my overall best (and I’m not suggesting you don’t), there comes a point when you realize there is so much more to life than outer beauty.  Maybe you’re younger than 30 and already there, but for me, I feel like the huge earth-shaking revelation came in my 30’s.  It’s what going on inside that matters most, and if I’m secure with my inside and secure in Christ….I’m secure in general.  Enough said.
  3. You become better at picking and choosing your battles.  There comes a time when you realize what matters and what doesn’t…..what will matter five years from now and what won’t.  You grow to discover that not every battle is yours to fight.  Let the Lord fight your battles for you.  (Exodus 14:14)
  4. Better financial situation.  Now, maybe this doesn’t apply to everyone.  This of course depends on what you take on and when.  However, by their 30’s, the average person is at least seeing their college loans on the decrease (if of course they’ve been consistently paying since their 20’s).  Though the light at the end of the tunnel may still be dim….it’s now a light, nonetheless. They’re also getting rid of credit card debt and working on that credit score.  We typically grow into better jobs and pay scales at this time in our lives, or at least have the confidence to begin the transition from unhappy situations.  We’ve had some time to prove ourselves and time to build experience. It’s a good time to be an even stronger professional than ever before.
  5. You know who you are or are almost there.  At this point, you’ve likely at least figured out who you’re not, even if you’re still working “that job.”  You are more self-aware.  You are aware of your likes, your dislikes, your hopes, your dreams…..and the fact that you can’t stay up until 2 am or handle spicy foods like you used to.  😉
  6. Maturity in the relationship department.  Okay, so maybe it’s just me, but my 30’s REALLY changed my approach to relationships.  By your 30’s, you’ve hopefully figured out your worth if you didn’t in your 20’s.  For me, I met every kind of guy in my 20’s.  It was a time of lesson learning.  Certain career pursuits didn’t match up well with my life.  I learned how important it was to be on the “same page.” By my 30’s, I really knew what I was looking for and what I wasn’t.  I could quickly discern who was serious and who wasn’t. I decided what my red lights and green lights were….and I knew what I was willing to compromise on and what I wasn’t.  Consequently, I tied the knot at 33.  I still have a lot of unmarried friends in their 30’s, but I can guarantee, like me, they didn’t come this far to settle on anything less than what they deserve.  When I got to my 30’s, I decided I was only going to get married if I felt that person added a lot of value and smiles to my already fabulous/comfortable life.  I decided my now husband did….and does.
  7. 30’s are a wiser time….yet you’re still young.  It’s like having the best of both worlds.  Though you feel a little more seasoned and experienced in your 30’s….you still look young and are considered young.  You may not be able to stay out or up all night like you used to….but you’re still young.  The only person who thinks you’re even remotely old is a teenager, and who cares what they think about “age” anyways? Are they paying your bills?  (Refer back to #1) 😉
  8. You begin to enjoy and appreciate the little things more.  I’m now entertained by things I never would have been entertained by 10 years ago.  I love simplicity now and it’s a beautiful thing.  I like listening to the rain while cuddled up under the covers, and I actually notice the fall colors more now.  Years back, I was way too busy to notice or to enjoy anything.  I actually get excited when I get a drawer organized, or receive some great new kitchen supplies.  I hated history as a kid, but I love it now.  I enjoy visiting with the elderly and inspiring the young.  I officially realize how blessed I really am for everyone and everything I have.
  9. If you haven’t figured out who your friends are and who they’re not….you’re just about there.  By the time you hit 30, high school is a distant memory.  Even college mostly becomes a distant memory.  By this time in your life, you’ve likely figured out who is who in your life:  Who is meant to stay in your boat, and who is meant to be only an acquaintance from here on out.  By now, you’ve had enough time to figure out loyalty and trust levels.  You also have had enough time to know who is like-minded and who isn’t….who encourages you and who brings you down.  Since 30’s are that time where you care less….quality becomes so much more important than quantity.  If you’re in 30’s and your life is still full of drama brought on by your friends….you’re doing it wrong.
  10. The value of life becomes even more clear.  As you notice time flying by, you become more aware of the value of life.  You realize it’s moving fast, that everyone around you is getting older, and you’ve finally grasped that life really is short.  As a result, all of the above ^^^^ takes place….and somehow, worrying about unimportant things becomes less important.

If you’re in your 30’s and you disagree with this list, well, now is a good time to start enjoying your best life.  Maybe you’re older than 30 and these things took you longer.  That’s okay too.  It varies for everyone, but this has been my general experience and the experience of many around me.

The bottom line is…  Laugh more, worry less, stay open to love if you haven’t yet found it, let go of the past, set new goals and remember HE will direct your path.  (Proverbs 3:5-6).  If you’re a teen or in your 20’s……you’re welcome in advance.  Your best days are still ahead of you.  🙂

Our Only Hope Is The Only Hope We Need

hollymarietong Encouragement, Personal Growth , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , 1 Comment
Our Only Hope Is The Only Hope We Need

In this unpredictable world, we can sadly predict that there will be multiple depressing headlines waiting for us every morning we wake up. This predictability comes from a combination of a fallen world and the time we’re living in.  I don’t know about you, but when I look around, I don’t find much in this world that I want to trust or place a lot of hope in.

To be honest, I don’t feel all that safe out there anymore.  It doesn’t mean I’ve stopped myself from living life, but I’ve become more skeptical and extra careful in comparison to what I once was.  I’ve been burnt by people I never suspected, and I’ve felt in danger more than once.  I keep my close friend circle small.  I keep my doors locked and my home alarm set.  If at all possible, I never go out alone late at night anymore.  It’s okay to be wise, guys.  There is a difference in being fearful and being wise.  God certainly doesn’t want us to be fearful….but he does teach us to be wise.

Let me clarify.  I’m not a pessimist when it comes to the world in general, but I do think I’m a seasoned realist.  Even more than a seasoned realist of the world, I’ve learned Jesus Christ is my ONLY hope.

He’s the one I never have to be pessimistic or even a realist about:  He’s the one I can ALWAYS be optimistic about.

I learned this lesson the hard way.

Though I gave my life to Jesus when I was a child, I admittedly still deeply had my hope in other outlets until the last couple years.  I didn’t even realize it.  I was looking towards earthly things to make me “happy.”

Something changed my perspective, however.

The joy of the Lord is your strength. -Nehemiah 8:10

You know what else has been life-changing for me?  Realizing the difference between happiness and joy.

See, I can joyfully live in circumstances that aren’t necessarily happy.  How?  My hope isn’t in those circumstances.  My hope is in the Lord, and that is where my joy and strength comes from.  In difficult situations, I can be certain that he has my back and that he will give me the strength I need.  I know I’m still blessed no matter how much my earthly situation tries to convince me otherwise.

We can always rest assured, the world is going to let us down.  At some point, people are going to let us down.  Circumstances are going to let us down.  Finances are going to let us down.  Employers are going to let us down.  Our sports teams are going to let us down.  Our bodies and general health are going to let us down.  Role models are going to let us down.  Our plans are going to let us down.  Our cars are going to let us down.  Our homes are going to let us down. Our dreams are going to let us down.

This isn’t a bad news blog though, friends.  This is GREAT news. This is a reminder that no matter what this world throws at us, we ALWAYS have a never-changing, always truthworthy, always dependable, always loving, source of hope.

The Lord is not fickle.  He is consistent.  He is perfect.  He cannot lie, and he cannot disappoint.  He will reveal himself daily if we’re willing to see and willing to listen.

I know we’re living in scary times.  I know the outlook in this world is discouraging right now.  I know it’s beyond sad out there.  I know it’s frustrating.  I know evil is running wild.

We may not be able run from what is around us…….but we can run to God.

Though he has never let us down….we have all let him down at some point.  The good news is, he is always going to have his arms wide open waiting for us to run back to him.  He doesn’t discriminate.  He doesn’t determine your value or your worthiness by your past track record, by the amount of your sin, successes, failures, resume, job title or bank account.

He never says, “You messed up too many times.  I’m done with you.”

Have you worn out people and lost relationships because of your mistakes?

The same isn’t true with God.  While a sincere apology or asking for forgiveness may not work with a friend, employer or a past relationship……it will always work with God.  You just have to mean it from the heart and allow him to work in you and through you.

Okay….now this a different blog for a different day, but:  The Bible has revealed more than enough for us to know that we have a lot of “end time” signs going on.  No one knows the day or hour, but so much of what God tells us would happen during those times…..is happening RIGHT. NOW.

Christ followers don’t have to be discouraged by this either though.  Our only hope (which is the only hope we need) has also given us the hope of Heaven.  He’s given us the chance to eternally live with him in a place where suffering, pain, evil and discouragement don’t exist.  We just have to humbly accept his invitation and admit our need for him.

We’re just passing through, guys.  This life is just a drop in the bucket compared to eternity….and all the good ahead of us.  The older I get, the more I’m reminded of this.

It isn’t complicated.  Though the Bible is a huge book full of guidance and wisdom, the way of Jesus is a simple concept.  You don’t have to know the whole book cover to cover to be accepted into his kingdom.  It’s by accepting his grace….plain and simple.  Then, if you’ve truly accepted His grace, you should want to live for Him and to help others along the way.  Is the Christian life always simple?  Of course not!  We live in a fallen world, and the Bible tells us we will experience different trials and hardships while we’re here.

However, a believer always has the ultimate hope:  The only hope needed.  ONLY is not a small word here….it’s a huge word.  Though “only” often has a negative connotation, believe me when I say it has a positive connotation in this case.  “Only” doesn’t mean “lack” in this situation….it means “sufficiency”….and “more than enough!”

God does want us to enjoy the here and now.  He wants us to laugh, live joyfully, to relax and to experience good relationships.  He loves blessing us.  As my pastor always says, God wants us to enjoy our Christian lives…..not endure them.  If we’re enduring our Christian lives rather than enjoying….then we’re doing it wrong.

Let me challenge you today though:  Let’s start ultimately focusing on what matters.  If it isn’t going to matter five years from now, maybe it doesn’t deserve your utmost attention right now.

It’s never good to be self-centered, self-absorbed and self-seeking, but with the times we’re living in?  It’s a really, really, bad time to be that way.

If your ultimate focus is your outer beauty or selfish goals, which have nothing to do with the Lord or people….I encourage you to dig a little deeper.

Is it wrong to want to look good and/or want to pursue your dreams?  Of course not! Just make sure he’s the center of it all.  Just make sure that your ultimate motivation for whatever you’re actively pursuing is the Lord and the good of people.

What is my platform here?  Well, I’m just a real person who has experienced real things.  I’ve had some harsh reality checks a time or two.  I’ve been FORCED to learn what matters vs. what doesn’t.  I got exactly what I wanted a time or two in the pursuit of my dreams and still experienced emptiness.  Why?  There was NOTHING else that could fill the void of Jesus.  I had that void, because, although I knew Him….my ultimate hope wasn’t yet in Him.

Yes, only God knows the day and hour when he will return.  However, it’s always possible he can return on any given day at any given time. I know if he is to come back this week, I’d rather he see me investing in Him and people, instead of selfishly just doing something All.About.Holly. OR chasing the pleasures of this world.

Is it wrong for me to invest in myself?  NO!  I need to do some meaningless, relaxing, “Holly things” here and there.  Otherwise, I’m not healthy, and I’m spread way too thin.  Then, I’m of no use for God and for people.  It isn’t required that every single day of my life be incredibly significant and life-changing.  He doesn’t mind if I watch a good, clean TV show for rest and relaxation.  He doesn’t mind if I want pretty nails.  He doesn’t mind if I want to go enjoy a sporting event on my Saturday afternoon.  I’m convinced he smiles when I occasionally sleep in.  It’s okay for me to NOT take on every ministry assignment offered to me and to say “no” sometimes. Rest and relaxation is healthy and his word encourages it.

It’s all about balance and perspective though, guys.

What is REALLY getting our attention….and where is our ultimate hope?

Matthew 6:21 says, “For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also.”

Remember, anytime I talk to you, I’m also talking to myself.  This blog is for you to relate to.  It’s to help us walk this thing out together.  God has been challenging me in this area in a big, big way.

What about you?  Where is your focus?  Where is your hope?  I encourage you to think about that today and in the days ahead.  Let him speak to your heart.

 

Are You Living a Well-Rounded Life?

hollymarietong Encouragement, Personal Growth , , , , , , , , , , , , , 3 Comments
Are You Living a Well-Rounded Life?
 
“A well-rounded life is a life well lived.”
These are the words God recently placed on my heart.  There are a lot of things I’m not and never will be in this life.  However, I like to believe I’m beginning to better understand the well-rounded life.
I’ve always been busy and used to living a life of many facets, but I haven’t necessarily always enjoyed the journey.  In fact, I would go as far as to say I once “endured” it.  Thankfully my Pastor often reminds us that we are not to endure the Christian journey, but rather to enjoy it.
“I’ve also grown to understand, “busy doesn’t always mean productive and productive doesn’t always mean purposeful.”
Though I struggle to maintain balance in my life every day, I’ve learned there are times for “yes” and times for “no.”  God has helped me with this.
I also have finally realized it is more than okay to kick back and to enjoy the people around me, without every single day being incredibly career focused and life-changing.
“Not every single day is meant to be full of revelation or overly significant, though every single day is meant to be an appreciated blessing.”
I was once the girl who thought if the door was open, I should probably walk through it.  If the opportunity was there, I should probably seize it. I was right sometimes and wrong other times.  Some of my yesses added to my life, but others greatly subtracted from it.
I found myself living out my dreams, surrounded by the well-known and the wealthy.  I was consistently adding credits to my resume.  What I didn’t find was time to relax, time to just be me, time for a successful relationship and time to maintain my health.  Worst of all though?  I didn’t find peace at that pace.
“When you’re not experiencing peace, it may be time to adjust the pace.”
I’ve learned a lot from the woman I was.  Now, I’m still very much her to some degree.  Don’t get me wrong.  I’m always going to be reaching for more, helping, learning, exploring and looking for new opportunities. I’ve just learned how to say “no” when I don’t want to do something that isn’t required of me.  By saying “no” to the things I don’t want to do, I’m able to say more “yesses” to the things I “do” want to do.  By saying “no” to the same old, same old, this year, I’ve allowed myself time to fall in love.  I’ve allowed myself to take time to plan my wedding and time to enjoy the experience of being engaged.  This is a once-in-a-lifetime season in my life after all!
“I’ve also learned that being well-rounded isn’t about taking on everything, but  more about doing what you love, loving what you do and doing those things well.”
It’s about being knowledgeable in many areas, but most importantly, in the areas that matter.  For me, I have found these areas to contribute to my getting a better feel for the “well-rounded life.”
1.   Meet new people whenever you can, but don’t be afraid to have your “inner circle.”  Find a balance of allowing new people in, but first, nurture your already established relationships: It’s a big world full of so many fascinating people with so many fascinating stories.  Be a listening ear.  Be transparent when you feel led.  Whether you’re in an airplane, at a convention, waiting in line or at a concert, don’t be afraid to meet the stranger next to you.  You just may meet a new person who adds something small but special to your day.  You just may add something small to their day. You may exchange a business card which results in a future partnership.  You may meet a new friend.  You may change that person’s life….or they may end up changing yours. My pastor always urges us to walk through crowds slowly.  Our stories and the stories of others bring an immeasurable amount of healing and inspiration to the world.  In that same sense though, be sure to nurture the already beautiful friendships and the relationship you have.  Don’t forget about your family, your children, your spouse and your oldest friends in the process of serving others.  Not everyone is meant to be part of your inner circle.  Be open and loving to the outside world, but don’t be afraid to draw the line between acquaintances and close friends as well.  You can’t be everything to everyone, but you can certainly be something to someone!  2.  Have friends of all ages:  I like to think my friends range from 9 months to 99 years old, and in all honesty, that’s all been true at some point in my life.  Age doesn’t matter when it comes to being friend of mine.  In fact, different ages bring so many different facets, revelations and stories to my life.  Children remind me to still find beauty in the simple things.  Teenagers remind me of who I was not long ago.  They remind me to keep a young energy.  I enjoy inspiring them.  While some make me want to yank my hair out, I find many who I believe will grow up to make an incredible difference in the world.  I find many I can relate to, laugh with and hopefully encourage whenever possible.  Friends my own age help me celebrate who I am today.  We can relate.  We can share similar struggles, victories and general commonalities.  Friends slightly older than me give me a good idea of what’s to come.  They help me to stay mature and to plan ahead.  They have a wisdom I admire.  Speaking of wisdom, anyone who doesn’t befriend the elderly is doing a serious disservice to one’s self.  These individuals have truly “been there, done that.”  They can serve as an adopted parent or grandparent figure in our lives.  I have several of them, and they mean the world to me.  They tell stories of the past and give us a sneak peek into the future.  I can’t say enough about having friends of all ages.  I think that should be a blog post in itself.  Oh…and never underestimate making friends with animals.  They teach us much more than what some are willing to believe.  A life without dogs is a life not reaching its potential…..just saying.  Back to friends of all ages though:  It’s been one of my greatest keys to success in life.
One of my favorite young friends – my niece Christina.

3.  Do what you love and love what you do:  I write this knowing full well that not all of us are currently able to work full-time at our God-given passions. The creative world isn’t exactly a financially sound world for the majority, but that doesn’t mean the creative mind can’t embrace and enjoy the results of a creative mind.  It also doesn’t mean one should assume that a delay is God’s denial.  Good things take time.  A slow growing oak tree is always better than a fast-growing, brittle one.   It goes back to the old saying, “bloom where you are planted.”  I think of Luke 16:10 – “Whoever can be trusted with very little can also be trusted with much, and whoever is dishonest with very little will also be dishonest with much.”  I fully believe that God wants to see how we treat non-dream jobs, little opportunities and our humble beginnings before he brings us to higher levels.  A grateful and appreciative person continuously sows positive seeds into their talent knowing it will reap a harvest in due time (check out Galatians 5:7).  Whether you have 15 minutes a day or 15 hours a day to focus on your passion, I truly believe what matters most is how you spend that time and the attitude you have during that time.  I believe God makes creative people creative for a purpose, just like he makes business analysts and accountants analytical for a purpose.  I think life comes together when we simply know what we want and know how to go about getting it.  For some that means a certificate, a Bachelors, a Masters or a PHD. For others that may mean starting their own business or being a flight attendant who travels the world.  Just trust that your talents are a gift from Him, bloom where you are planted and consult with Him for wisdom concerning your career path.  Never stop setting goals.  (Note to self).

Yours truly sowing into her musical passion during her college days.

4.  Take care of yourself:  I don’t know about you, but while I’m taking care of everyone and everything, sometimes I forget to take care of me.  Sometimes I have to remind myself that it’s okay to sit on the couch, sip my favorite hot tea and just do nothing.   I also have to remind myself that I’m probably always going to feel much better after a grilled chicken and steamed broccoli meal than I ever will after eating a big piece of chocolate cake for my dinner (though sometimes I just have to).  Taking care of ourselves covers a broad spectrum.  When one isn’t fully taking care of oneself, they are unable to give to others in the way they could and should.  For some, taking care of oneself may mean a monthly pedicure, a movie night, setting aside time to write a blog or to browse a flea market. For many, taking care of oneself will put them in mind of exercising and general healthy living.  Whether it’s a long walk, a trip to the gym or working hard around the home, it all typically makes a person feel active.  Meal plans, natural remedies and juicing machines – whatever healthily works for you, do it.  Craving a quiet weekend at the beach?  Do it. Oh, and here’s the best way to take care of yourself:  Spend time with Jesus.  A life that aspires to be healthy spiritually has already taken the first big step to a well-rounded life.

Quiet time is one of the best ways we can take care of ourselves.

5.  Get organized and de-clutter your life:  I know I mentioned this in a previous blog, but it just happens to apply to so many life principles.  I know this because I’ve struggled with organization and clutter for much of my life.  God has been dealing with me concerning this for the past year.  Too much “stuff” gets in the way, creates stress and wastes a whole lot of time.  I’ve been cleaning closets, bagging, boxing, pitching, selling and giving away.  My rec room right now should probably be called a “wreck room,” but it’s because I’m going through all the junk and filtering through what will be kept, sold and donated.  Though “stuff” may seem harmless it can hinder and hurt many aspects of our lives.  An organized person will always be one step ahead of a disorganized person, allowing more time for a purposeful, peaceful life.  I truly believe our home lives can either make or break our lives.  I believe treating our homes lives right is key to having peace in our outside lives.

Maybe I still have too many shoes, but they’re organized, right? LOL 😉
A happy home is the start of a happy life.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

6.  Do good for others:  We were created to love and to do good for others.  God’s word encourages us to be a helping hand over and over again.  I’ve always believed that one should give away whatever it is they’re needing.  (IE – if a hug is needed, give one.  If some encouragement is needed, give some).  Pastor always reminds us to “live to give.”  It’s also true that we must remember to take care of ourselves in the midst of our giving, as I mentioned above.  Interestingly though, I love giving so much that it feels like I’m doing it for “me,” and I almost feel selfish for how good it makes me feel (Lol).  Giving is just good for everyone.  Always has been….always will be.

One of my old favorite ways to give of my time: I used to have the pleasure of assisting a couple different food pantries in the Nashville community.  Oh the memories!

7.  Try something new:  Whether it’s skydiving or a new recipe, never deprive yourself of adventure.  See new places….try new activities.  Again, meet some new people. If you cross off your entire bucket list….find some things to add to it.  A well rounded, well lived life never stops discovering, learning, exploring and enjoying.

Flying in a 6 seat plane was certainly a bucket list item for me.
Ziplining was also on my bucket list!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Though it may not be “new” to many….Florida was new to me last year. What a great first trip to Panama City!

 

 

 

8.  Celebrate and take in your success:   While we should never stop setting new goals, I think it’s equally important that we stop to celebrate and take in our successes.  Over the years, I had the “never stop setting goals” thing down, but I really didn’t have the celebrate and take it in thing down.  In fact, I never stopped, took in or celebrated any of it, period.  It became a “more, more, more” thing for me, which was certainly not God’s will for me.  I think when we don’t stop to simply take in success and be thankful, it becomes more difficult to be thankful in general.  If we simply see success and reaching a new level as the norm, rather than as a blessing, our thankfulness depletes.  In the long run, this non-stop pace causes passion to fade out and discontentment to fade in.  Then, guess what happens?  Total burnout.  Eventually the burnt out individual will wonder what they even really got out of all their hard work in the end.  They are likely to even question their calling and God-given talents if not careful.  Their success won’t feel lasting, and it won’t feel fulfilling.  Don’t ask me how I know.  I’m learning just like you…

9.   Live more, spend less:  The bible warns against a love of money.  It’s God’s design that we be good stewards and not be bound by lenders.  Materialism is everywhere in our culture.  It’s promoted in the magazines, on the internet, on our television screens, in the movies and everywhere we look.  Sadly, they don’t show us how it feels to struggle to put food on the table or to keep our lights on.  On that same note, it’s hard to experience new things and “live” with zero money to our names.  I believe that if we spend less, we will in the long run, live more.  Sometimes sacrifices have to be made and trade-offs have to happen, but it’s hard to truly live when we’re living far far beyond our means.  When nothing is changing financially, it’s time to look at what you can change:  Get it on sale, use the coupon, pray before making the large purchase, think before getting another credit card, wait to buy the new vehicle you’re not quite ready for and ask yourself if you’re financially in a good position to do what your heart is currently desiring.  Your future self will thank your current self for this. Again, don’t ask me how I know.  Also, remember, just because something is free or cheap doesn’t mean it isn’t fun and just because something is expensive doesn’t mean it is fun.  There are plenty of entertaining activities that don’t cost you your first born.  Don’t be afraid to pull out an old board game, to set up your corn hole boards, to cook at home or to re-watch a movie on your dusty DVD shelf, sometimes.  Oftentimes the best times are the most simple times.

Who says a fire pit at home can’t be more fun than a night out on the town?

 

 

And who says hitting golf balls on the farm with your dad can’t be a complete blast?

 

Oh…and playing games with your niece and nephew? That’s where it’s at.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

10.  Seek first his kingdom:  “But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.” – Matthew 6:33:  It all comes down this, folks.  If we seek first his kingdom, we don’t really have to worry about if we’re being “well-rounded” or not, because if we seek first his kingdom, he has a way of letting everything else fall into place.  When we put him first, we are blessed and highly favored:  Doors are opened, the wrong ones are closed, burdens are eased, direction is given and the right people and opportunities are introduced.  We just have to be willing to move our feet, to work hard, to be responsible and to joyfully go where he sends us.

Leading a well-rounded life starts and ends with Him.  It’s the only kind of life that fulfills.  Again, don’t ask me how I know….