“Just because he doesn’t answer…..doesn’t mean he don’t care. Some of God’s greatest gifts are unanswered prayers.”
Yes, I just quoted some lyrics to a Garth Brooks hit. To start, Garth is one of my favorite singers of all time. I also love the idea behind the “Unanswered Prayers” song and always have. In fact, for many years, it was like an anthem in my life. I think it is a very well-intended song, and I get what the message is at the core. (The man in the song winds up thankful that he didn’t end up with his high school flame). When he runs into her later in life, he’s so glad he ended up with his wife instead. He thanks the good Lord for not giving him what he wanted all those years ago). I do relate.
In my own world, I’m very thankful God didn’t say “yes” to any of the men I met prior to Kyle. Some of them were great guys with incredible families, but we just weren’t right for each other in the long run. Therefore, I’m thankful that they also found the one who was better suited for them.
Others…..well, I’ll just be nice and say, I was spared of a lot of heartache. Disaster would have been certain. However, I root for ALL of them. With all of that said, I’m glad that I ended up with Kyle instead of someone else, and that God knew what was better for me far better than I knew what was better for me.
Now, hear me out for a bit. After many years of investing in my relationship with the Lord and trying to get to know him on a deeper level, I don’t believe “unanswered prayers” is the correct term here. I believe God answers ALL of our prayers – just not always in the way we expect, or think we want at the time.
I believe a “no” is still an answer to prayer, because when he gives us a “no,” he’s doing so to protect us in some way. Always answering “yes” would be him agreeing to “our will” instead of his own.
It’s like I said in my “Chick Flicks Lie” book back in 2014 (to paraphrase), when God doesn’t give us what we want, he is either “saving us from something…..or for something.”
And let me tell you – he has saved me so many times. So many more times than I could ever deserve. I can look back and see different times when he both saved me from something…..and for something.
…..Because he always knew when a “yes” would destroy my walk, or his purpose for me. He always knew when a “yes” would bring me financial ruin. He always knew when a “yes” would keep from living my best life. He always knew when a “yes” would keep from meeting the right man for me. He always knew when a “yes” could wind up bringing me stress and heartbreak. He always, always knew….and he always, always answered.
Today, I know, a combination of his “yesses” his “nos,” and his “not yets” are what has brought me to this happier, more peaceful time in my life.
I believe we need to make a habit of thanking him for ALL of his answers, whatever they may be, because he is the one who sees the big picture. We only see one step at a time. Our heavenly father sees the whole staircase.
This is why Proverbs 3:5-6 remains one of my favorite verses:
Proverbs 3:5-6
5 Trust in the Lord with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;
6 in all your ways submit to him,
and he will make your paths straight.[a]
The other day, I had yet another revelation in this area. Though I won’t get into all of the details, almost 4 years ago, I was determined to make a major change in my life. In “MY” understanding, this change made perfect sense. There was a door that appeared to be open, and I was so desperate for change that I tried to walk through that door. I was relying on my own logic instead of on Him.
It looked like I was going to “get” what I thought I wanted…….but God firmly said, “no.”
When he said “no,” I was honestly confused. I must admit that even my ego was a bit bruised, and I try not to have an ego.
I suddenly felt inadequate and like I was no longer “at the top of my game.” It brought me down a few notches and made me question myself. It certainly humbled me to say the least. Looking back though, I clearly remember never actually feeling at “peace” about that transition. Oddly, a part of me was almost glad the door slammed shut. It’s very difficult to explain the mix of emotions.
During that frustrating time, I was also seeing someone who was completely wrong for me. I knew deep down he was wrong for me. However, he was persistent, and I had developed a “whatever” attitude about that area of my life. He lived life on the road, and I found myself figuratively going down the same road I had already been on one too many times. I resented the road I was on, yet I was on it all the same.
I was tired….so tired.
I was too tired to notice that God had recently introduced me to my future husband. He was disguised as a new co-worker. Someone I just kind of thought would be a new acquaintance who I would see in passing from time to time.
I was too tired to notice that the Lord was busy moving mountains in my life. It just “appeared” that nothing was happening.
I was too tired to notice that he was saying “no” to that one opportunity, because he was instead bringing me to a much greater “yes.”
I was too tired to notice that if he had agreed to “my will,” NONE of my beautiful future (the now) would have been possible. Me getting my way would have resulted in ruin on many levels.
Now, fast forward…..here we are in 2019. I said “yes” to that co-worker, and we have now been married for 2 years. Our relationship is the polar opposite of any and all past relationships I had. God knew I needed the opposite. I would say I now also have the daughter I’ve always dreamed of, but honestly, she’s even greater than I could have imagined.
Jesus Christ remains the foundation of my life – and with him as the foundation, I experience stability and peace each day. Life isn’t always easy, but I always know he has my back.
Now, here is the kicker: Just the other day, another huge reason for that “no” he gave me four years ago was revealed. Again, I won’t get into the specifics and the whys, but let’s just say, hindsight is 20/20.
Sometimes, we don’t necessarily get to see the reason for the “no”…..but sometimes (like in this case), the reason winds up being revealed in big, bold, flashing, neon lights.
If he had said “yes,” instead of “no,” not only would I not have Kyle and Clara today, but I would have had the rug completed yanked out from under me in SO many other areas. I likely would have been stressed beyond measure and felt my world crumbling in all areas. Just thinking of all the ways my life almost went in the wrong direction made me anxious.
I pictured myself trying to keep up my home on my own. I pictured foreclosure. I pictured myself jobless and crying about broken dreams. I pictured myself in great distress and having no idea where to go from there. I tried to picture life without Kyle, Clara and the amazing family I married into…..and I just couldn’t. I didn’t want to.
….Thankfully I was able to shut off that depressing “short film,” and thank the Lord for his “no” four years ago. I was able to smile about where I am now. Because He is the Lord of my life, “He saved me from something and for something,” just like he has so many times before.
He did answer my prayer. He always has and always will.
Sometimes we just have to stop and thank Him for his “no’s,”.……because sometimes, his no’s are the greatest answer to prayer of all.
