friendships Archives - Homestead Holly https://homesteadholly.com/tag/friendships/ (Wholesome Words of Wisdom from a Witty Warrior Woman) Thu, 06 Apr 2017 14:36:22 +0000 en-US hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=6.5.5 Treat everything like “new” https://homesteadholly.com/treat-everything-like-new/ https://homesteadholly.com/treat-everything-like-new/#comments Tue, 01 Nov 2016 04:38:49 +0000 https://homesteadholly.com/?p=205 “Treat everything like new….and nothing will ever get old.” Those are the words God placed in my spirit as I climbed into my 2013 Honda CRV yesterday.  Then, I let him deal with me a little more.  Though my car

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“Treat everything like new….and nothing will ever get old.”

Those are the words God placed in my spirit as I climbed into my 2013 Honda CRV yesterday.  Then, I let him deal with me a little more.  Though my car is 3 going on 4 years old, I need to continue to treat it as if it’s new.  I need to especially treat it as new since I’m planning on being car payment free for years to come.  If my car is still looking, driving and feeling great, I’ll be less tempted to trade it in before needed. He’s been telling me to love and care for that vehicle like I did on day one of owning it, but today, he asked me to treat everything as if it’s new.

He placed it on my heart that when we stop treating our blessings as new, it’s possible that we’re subconsciously being a little less thankful than we ought to be.  Maybe this only applies to me, but I was thinking about how sometimes the newness of my possessions wear off for me. When that newness wears off, I can take things for granted, if not careful.  Now, don’t get me wrong.  I consider myself a very thankful person.  However, if I’m ALWAYS being as thankful as I can be, why do I eventually get a little careless over time? I always love that new car when I first get it.  I’m washing it, sweeping it, and taking it in for regular maintenance before it’s even time.  But then, I’ve had a habit of gradually caring about it just a little less.  Gradually it gets a little messier.  Gradually I cut down on the washing and the sweeping.  Maybe I’ll go over just a little more on those regular maintenance suggestions than what I did in the beginning.  Then, as the new body styles come out….I kind of wish I had the newer look instead.

It’s not just my car.  Even the newness of my home has worn off just a little.  It’s 2,125 square feet to clean, and unfortunately it doesn’t clean itself.  It wasn’t long after I moved in that it was time to replace a lot of its original amenities.  It looked so new when I moved in.  Now, when I look around, it seems a little older than that first time I walked through it with stars in my eyes.  I love it, and I’m beyond thankful, but that ungrateful attitude occasionally creeps in.

God didn’t stop there though.  I could probably be even more careful with the laptops and iPhones he provides me with.  I need to keep up with the necessary updates and the virus protections.  I should take good care of my screens and clean them regularly.  I need to treat them like new.

And why do I stop putting my glasses in their case?  I’m simply inviting scratches and damages.

Why does my new purse eventually fill up with receipts and other junk?

Why do I start out so excited about a new side business venture, and then just kind of stop working at it?  “Finish what you start,” is another thing He’s dealing with me on, but that’s a whole separate blog in itself.

The point is this, my friends:  When we start getting careless with anything, we’re in the danger zone of unthankfulness, whether we realize it or not.  Someone out there would LOVE to have what we’ve already grown tired of.  When we get careless, stop nurturing and start getting lazy with our regular maintenance, we’re also shortening the lifespan of things that could possibly last longer.  In the long run, it’s that attitude that causes us more time, money and trouble.  In the long run, we are not really being the best steward we can be.

What about your job?  Treat it like it’s new.  Treat it like it pays you double the salary you actually receive.  Someone out there is praying for a job half as good as yours.

Your friendships?  Treat them like they’re new.  Someone out there wishes they had a supportive friend like yours.

Your family?  Treat them like they’re new.  Your children might be driving you crazy, but someone out there is praying to have just one child.

Your rescue dog?  Treat him like he’s new.  He still looks at you as if you’re new.  It’s that same love he felt for you when you rescued him from that lonely kennel of uncertainty. I guarantee it.

Your relationship?  Treat it like it’s new.  I certainly can’t speak for everyone.  In my situation though, I know there’s plenty of women out there that would love to have someone as handsome, sweet, driven, smart, loyal and responsible as my guy.  Therefore, I always want to be thankful without waiver.

I have to honestly say I’ve always treated my relationship, loved ones and my dog as if they’re new.  I may stumble in the “treating possessions like they’re new” area, but I always remain very dedicated to the people in my life.  Even if I sometimes get bad at picking up the phone, my love and loyalty remains the same.  It seems to be a strength of mine, and I pray it stays one.

Interestingly enough, my romantic relationship is part of what inspired me to start treating everything else as if it’s new.  Yes, that’s right.  My boyfriend is so much better at this “treat everything like its new” thing than I am. He takes really good care of everything he owns:  His car, his suits, his sunglasses, his work space, his flash drives and pretty much everything else. I love that about him. He’s been teaching me the “treat everything like its new” concept without even realizing it.  Best of all?  He treats me like I’m new to his life…but we’re of course increasingly more comfortable and know each other on a much deeper level than the beginning of our relationship.  Still, he continues to make me feel just as special and cared about as day one….actually even more so now.

Let the bible be your guide concerning your own relationship.  It says a whole lot about love, loyalty and commitment.  If you need wisdom in this area, just ask God, and he will be glad to give it to you.  (James 1:5)

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Yes, many possessions and jobs (NOT good, loyal, committed people) eventually need replacing….but it seems that the longer we treat something as new, the better the chance we stand at it lasting longer (in some cases, forever).  The better we treat anything, the more fulfilling it will be.  Even if something grows too old to keep, we probably made it last longer if we always treated it as new.  The possession may have grown old in years, but it doesn’t have to grow old in our hearts.  If we loved it enough, we’ll dread the day it needs replaced.  We also simply remain more thankful for those possessions and opportunities whether we realize it or not.  Now, don’t hear me wrong here.  I’m certainly NOT  encouraging materialism.  I’m actually encouraging an attitude of thankfulness, appreciation and contentment with what He’s already blessed us with.

When we treat everything as if it’s new….it never gets old.

 

 

 

Key verse:  (In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you).  -1 Thessalonians 5:18

 

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Be there for everyone (but don’t let everyone be there for you) https://homesteadholly.com/everyone-dont-let-everyone/ https://homesteadholly.com/everyone-dont-let-everyone/#comments Thu, 06 Oct 2016 03:01:29 +0000 https://homesteadholly.com/?p=144 “Be there for everyone……but don’t let everyone be there for you.” What does this mean you might ask? Though this statement may initially sound negative or anti-social, it’s actually just the opposite.  Let me explain.  I’m not at all encouraging

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“Be there for everyone……but don’t let everyone be there for you.”

What does this mean you might ask?

Though this statement may initially sound negative or anti-social, it’s actually just the opposite.  Let me explain.  I’m not at all encouraging us to shut everyone out.  I’m not suggesting we be anti-social, form cliques or live in constant fear that every person we meet is going to hurt us.

The Bible tells us over and over to love one another.  Therefore, it’s our job to help out our fellow humans when we can.  When living a spirit-led life God will speak to us in a variety of ways concerning other people.  Sometimes he may ask us to be a listening ear.  Sometimes he may ask us to hand a struggling stranger that $10 bill in our back pocket.  He also expects us to be respectful, trustworthy and genuine to the people we meet.

One thing God doesn’t instruct us to do, however, is to share every single detail of our lives with every person we meet.  Sometimes we’re meant to be there for someone, but just maybe that person is not meant to be there for us.  Sometimes they need us more than we need them.

Just because you’re genuine, loyal and trustworthy doesn’t mean you can’t sometimes be there for a person who doesn’t quite share your qualities.  Don’t let them be there for YOU though.  You can do one without doing the other.  Just do it as led and hear God on it.  Stay wise in the process.

Still not following me?  Well, to be completely transparent, I’m at the point where I have thousands of acquaintances.  Many, many of these acquaintances I have are incredible people.  They’re the kind of people that I wish I could know better.  However, the reality is, I can’t share my life on a deep level with everyone.  Honestly, I don’t think any of us are meant to.  God knows if I shared the deep details of my life with EVERY acquaintance I have, I would not only have zero time for those closest to me, but I would also have some unnecessary drama.  He knows that in general I’d be spread really really thin.

I’d also receive a lot of conflicting advice from a lot of conflicting viewpoints.  Therefore, I would end up conflicted and confused.  Once we reach that point of confusion, we can rest assured, we have sought worldly counsel instead of God’s counsel.

How do I know?  I know because for the longest time I tried to be a close friend with as many people as possible.

The result?  I got burnt, felt overwhelmed and just really exhausted.

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The thing is…..God never asked me to try to have a large quantity of deep friendships.  He did begin speaking to me about quality of friendships, however.

God wants us to be loving to all at all times…..but I believe he also wants us to be wise.  There’s a difference between the two.  We can be completely open, personable, approachable and even transparent on a healthy level, without revealing every single personal detail to everyone.

So back to “be there for everyone…..but don’t let everyone be there for you.”

If God puts a hurting person in our paths, by all means, I believe we are supposed to be there for them.  I absolutely believe we are to lovingly listen to them and to give them biblical advice if they’re there for advice.  Also, I believe that unless they are wanting to harm themselves or someone else, we should keep it confidential.  Their lives are not a reality show, and it’s wrong to gossip about another person’s struggles.

It goes back to Luke 6:31:  “Do to others as you would have them do to you.”

If said person confided in you, please be thankful that they see you as someone they can trust and keep your lips sealed.  Then pray for them, encourage them when they pop up or you feel led.  They may keep coming back to you.  They may not.  If you handled them in a Christ-like manner, your positive seeds have been sown and God WILL allow something good to come out of your counsel and your friendship to them.

You may not ever get to witness that good…..but God knows what that good will be and how and when it will play out.

Sometimes we’re just meant to plant a seed.  Sometimes we’re meant to encourage someone long-term.  Sometimes we’re an answer to a person’s prayers for that hour, that day, that week, that month, that year, that decade or that lifetime.  Only God knows which it will be.

Sometimes God puts this struggling person in our lives for a season….a few seasons…..or a lifetime.  I’ve had all types come my way, and I’m just 32.  I wonder how many will be there my whole life.  I wonder how many will pop up again.

Sometimes I’ll find myself wondering what happened to said person.  Sometimes my heart will get a little sad remembering an old random friendship.

“I really thought that person and I would be friends for a lifetime, but we haven’t really talked in four years,” I’ll think.

“I guess life just got busy, and they’ve got other responsibilities now.”

“I guess when someone moves 2,000 miles away, things do change.”

“I briefly remember her, but my memory is fading.”

“It’s funny how we were inseparable for a month, but we just kinda lost touch.”

I can honestly say that 99.9% of my dwindled friendships occur simply because of life.  There’s that 0.1% that ended due to realizing the loyalty or the confidentiality wasn’t reciprocated, but mostly, they dwindle because of life itself.

After watching countless friendships drift apart over the years simply due to seasons of life, busyness or geographical distance, I found myself frustrated.  I also found myself frustrated with that 0.1% where I had trusted and wasn’t paid the same respect in return.

I became tempted to close myself off….and to not let anyone in….but God dealt with me and he still is.

Today, I’m very content with a loving inner circle.  I know who is in my boat.  I know that not everyone belongs in my boat.  I’m not excluding those who are not necessarily in my boat.  I’m all about including them and inviting them into small areas of my life.  I’m certainly all about being a trusting friend to them.

I don’t play the favoritism game, and I’m not bias.  I’ve just had to learn how to be wise.

He’ll never ask you to keep someone in your boat who is trying to sink your boat.  He’ll never ask you to keep around toxic relationships or friendships that steal your joy.

It’s okay to have an inner circle.  In fact, I think that’s very smart.  Just make sure it’s not a closed off clique.  Make sure others feel loved and included.

When we’re showing love and being there for everyone who God places in our path in some small way….we’re doing our jobs.  He never asks us to overexert, to give them ALL our time or to neglect our trusted inner circles in the process.

“Be there for everyone…..but don’t let everyone be there for you.”

 

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