faith

“My Times Are In Your Hands”: Modestly Managing “Mommy Madness”

hollymarietong Encouragement, Motherhood, Personal Growth , , , , , , , , , , , , , , 0 Comment
“My Times Are In Your Hands”: Modestly Managing “Mommy Madness”
Photo Credit: Veri Ivanova

I don’t know about you, but I often struggle to believe that time is my friend.  I often struggle to believe that the load I’m carrying is even currently manageable…..or worse – Is it even sustainable in the long run? I’ve learned the hard way that I cannot control much of anything at all, despite my best efforts to do so.

The truth is:  Most days it’s a struggle to get even 15 minutes to sit and breathe.  It doesn’t help that my mind is programmed to believe that productivity is vital at all times.  The biggest problem is, I get overwhelmed by my massive to-do list.  I get so overwhelmed that nothing gets done at all.  For every big task I get done, two unexpected ones get added.  If I do get 10 minutes to try to tackle any given task, I either end up with a phone call, an unexpected favor that’s been asked of me…..or maybe, I catch my two year old coloring on the walls yet again. Yes.  Think of “Harold and the Purple Crayon.”  That’s our current situation, and then some.  Little man always seems to find those writing utensils no matter where I store them (of course he gets into everything else right now, too).  He’s a joyful tornado, if you can imagine that.

And the mess.  It’s everywhere.  I mean, everywhere.  Our bar area is covered by random knick-knacks, pages ripped out of books, loose change, pens that don’t work and buttons that have popped off.  You’ll also find random chargers, hair ties, clippers, broken toys and owner’s manuals.  And let’s not forget the stack of papers I still need to read, analyze, sign, return, file, etc. And the laundry obnoxiously piles up before I can even put away the last load.  If I were to detail everything I’m behind on, this blog would turn into a boring book.  It all looks and feels embarrassing if I’m fully honest.

“I’ll get to it tomorrow,” I tell myself.

This full-time working outside the home AND as a stay-at-home mom, “life,” is exhausting to put it mildly.  And only those closest to us truly know everything my current life entails AND demands.  But, I also know, 20 years from now, I’ll be glad I fully took on “the hard,” instead of running from it.

And, I really, really do try.  I’m trying to be disciplined, but the messes, and “the messages” on my phone, computer and mailbox often hit me like a ton of bricks.  I often feel like the average day brings a lot of “unexpected nonsense” which keeps me from the bigger priorities.

……..Anyone else feel that way?

And….I’ve always heard, “chase 2 rabbits, and both get away.” Many days I feel like I have 200 rabbits on the go and 100 fires burning.  And, while trying to figure out which one to attend to first, I get overwhelmed and give up.   If my head were a computer, I’d have 200 tabs open and running at all times.  “Which priority is the BIGGEST priority?” is a question I silently ask myself often.

And, I’ve been trying so hard to maximize my time.  I’ve been trying to work with what I DO have for time, instead of dwelling on what I don’t have for time.  I’ve had to learn to be creative.  I’ve had to learn to spot “not-so-obvious, opportunities” for time with God, time to catch a breath. Every school pickup turns into a “prayer drive” afterwards.  I grab a coffee, a quencher or a smoothie for me, and two dairy-free smoothies for the kiddos.  We drive down that beautiful side road on our way home, as if it’s our first time looking at those gorgeous mountains in the distance.  We pray, we worship, we reflect.  This is how I want them to know me.  Sure, mommy probably lost her patience earlier that day, and may be on the struggle bus again that night….but, I want them to know that praise and worship is what I’ll always return to.

Yes.  As hard as it may be –  I’m trying really hard to give God my first 15 minutes of the day (which is Clara’s drive to school M-F), my middle of the day 15 (or a full hour), and my last 15.  I find my last 15 to be the most challenging.  Give God your first 15 and your last 15 was pre-marital counseling advice Kyle and I received from the fabulous Rob Simms of Joy Church.  I haven’t always abided by this priceless advice, but I also have never forgotten it either.  I always eventually default back to this goal.  I find it to be so key.

I recently heard another pastor say, “if you speak about lack of time, you’ll have lack of time.”

I recall another saying, “I’m too busy to NOT spend time with God.”

And so, I’m trying.  I listen to church services and/or inspirational videos while I fold the laundry, wash dishes or shower.  Sitting and waiting on my car to receive its maintenance is now basically a spa day for me.  I now see the smallest openings as opportunities vs. a lack of time.

As I write this blog, I’m multi-tasking both kids.  Weston thinks we are playing pickleball together.  So in between each sentence, I’m literally serving the ball as far as I can across the house.  I take my free 30 seconds before he returns the ball, to write another sentence or form another thought.

((Please Lord…..help this blog entry to make sense.  Help it to not have 101 errors that I don’t even have time to spot before I hit the publish button)).

So, yes.  I’m trying to clean, declutter, organize, execute, and be a whole lot to a lot of people these days.

BUT…..

Despite the mess, despite the chaos….the good Lord meets me right there in the midst of it.  Every time.  He’s right there with me as I’m literally running through the living room obstacle course of random junk, trying not to trip.  He’s right there with me, as I’m launching both kids into their car seats knowing I don’t have any time to spare.  And, he’s right there with me as I’m behind that slow-moving dump truck that is going to make me 2 minutes late for that important appointment.  And when I ask him the best alternative route when I come upon that train that’s stopped on the tracks…..he is faithful to remind me of the best way to get 45 minutes away, on time.  He’s right there with me when I feel exhausted, defeated, unheard….and right there when I experience life’s victories too.

He is always faithful.  But, I’m still learning to remember, “My times are in your hands.”

But I know it’s true.  I know that even when I feel like I don’t have time, I can be assured that he will provide me with time…even if it looks like more multitasking again.  He will maximize what I do have.  He’s the captain of this ship after all.  The less manageable and sustainable this feels, the more I lean on him.  The more I know I need to trust him, to be my strength, to be my guide, and to be the one who goes before me.  The more I remember when he says:  “But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.” (2 Corinthians 12:9)

And sometimes I simply have to remind myself:  He can do more in 15 minutes than I can do in 15 years.  He can turn it all around in the blink of an eye.

Again, our times are in his hands…..and his hands have never failed…..and they never will.

**************************

((Key verses)):

My times are in your hands; deliver me from the hands of my enemies, from those who pursue me. (Psalm 31:15)

“Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise, making the best use of the time, because the days are evil.” (Ephesians 5:15-16)

There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens.  (Ecclesiastes 3:1-8)

But do not forget this one thing, dear friends: With the Lord a day is like a thousand years, and a thousand years are like a day.  The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. Instead he is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance. (2 Peter 3:8-9)

When God Speaks Through A Border Collie

hollymarietong Encouragement , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , 0 Comment
When God Speaks Through A Border Collie

Almost 6 years ago, I made my way to a couple shelters to look at dogs.  It was Good Friday and my sister was persistent that we do so.  I reminded her that a dog is a huge responsibility and that we were just “looking.”  I insisted that we were not getting a dog just for the sake of getting a dog, and that I would only consider adopting one if I fell in love and experienced a true connection.

The first time I met Rosco, he looked depressed and withdrawn.  The other dogs around him were jumping, barking and trying to get our attention.  But, I found myself drawn to the quiet one.  He wanted my attention, but he was incredibly subtle about it.  It didn’t hurt that he was a 5 month old puppy and couldn’t get any cuter if he tried.  When I went to put him back in his cage after our acquaintance time, he didn’t want to go.  Even though he was shy about it, the connection was mutual.  He wanted me to be in his life, and I knew it. Still, I knew this was a big decision and didn’t want to make it on impulse.  In fact, I made myself drive away to “think about it.” Within an hour, I drove back to the Nashville Humane Association as quickly as I could, ran to the front desk and said I wanted to adopt “Herman.” I immediately renamed him “Rosco,” and the rest is history.

I never did find out much about his history before life with us.  I just knew his heart was hurting and that he was sad to be surrendered.  Though he let me pick him up and hung out near me in the beginning, he was pretty introverted in our early days.  I could tell I needed to earn his trust.

Over time, I noticed I was earning that trust I longed for.  It wasn’t long before he was jumping up on my bed and sleeping next to me.

[Rosco was before the days of Kyle and Clara].

We have quite a history together.  Prior to the year 2014 when my sister moved in, I was super independent.  I never really had to look after anyone, but me.  Between my sister and then Rosco, I finally felt like I was getting a taste of parenting.

The one thing I never did understand about Rosco early on was the fact that he could never seem to enjoy car rides like the average dog does.  I thought if we simply went on more car rides, he would grow more comfortable and trusting of them – but he never did.  Now, here we are years and years later, and his car ride anxieties remain.

It didn’t take me long to figure out that something negative clearly once happened to him on a car ride.  My best guess has always been that he remembers his car ride to the humane society where his previous owners left him and never returned.

Anyone who has a border collie understands what I’m about to say:  Their mind is said to be very similar to that of a toddler.  They are known to be incredibly smart, and they seemingly have a remarkable strong memory.  Their deep thinking disposition can be good and bad.  Unfortunately, Rosco spends A LOT of time in his head and forgets how to just be a dog.  He seldom understands how to be carefree. So many times I’ve wished he would just wag his tail and immediately accept every person and dog he meets without question, but I know that isn’t him.  If he’s scolded in any way, you can rest assured, he will hang on to that correction, until I say, “It’s okay, Buddy. ”  My words usually aren’t enough.  I often have to pet him and give him a treat to assure him that we are “good again.”  Many nights, he goes and lays in his bed located in our master bedroom and just hangs out by himself:  Likely overthinking life.  The mind is always going, and I see it when I look at him…..especially in the car.

Whether he goes on a short drive to the lake or a long car trip to Ohio, he tenses up, pants and is unable to enjoy the view around him.  His shedding gets even worse than it already is (and his normal shedding is already really bad), and he refuses to eat or drink anything unless the car is completely stopped.  I try to pet and encourage him.  I try to tell him we are just going to see his grandparents.  Over and over again I’ve said:  “Rosco, buddy.  I’m not taking you to the pound.  It’s been “x” amount of years now.  When are you going to trust me and realize I love you, and I’m keeping you?  You should know me by now.”

I found myself thinking about that today.  What is it going to take for him to trust me? He’s 6 1/2 years old, and he’s been with me for a majority of his life now.  Haven’t I proven myself?  Doesn’t he know my track record?  Can’t he just simply remember all of those car rides that ended well?  Why does he still think about the one that didn’t?  Why is that one time still his dominating thought pattern?  Why can he not just accept the treats and water I try giving him?  I’m trying to nourish his body on those road trips.  Why does he reject my help and instead choose fear?

But then, I sensed God turning it back to me.  Something along these lines was placed on my heart:  Sometimes you’re a lot like Rosco, Holly.  We’ve been together a long time now. I’ve proven my faithfulness to you over and over again.  Sometimes instead of rehearsing all of those past victories that you’ve experienced through me – you sometimes still find yourself thinking about the traumas and disappointments you’ve experienced instead.  At times, you’ve let the bad outweigh the good.  Sometimes you get so taken up with your fears and anxieties that you struggle to nourish your mind, body and soul with what I’ve already provided you with.  Sometimes you get so focused on the “what ifs” and what you’re afraid of that you forget to enjoy the view and the beauty around you.  Haven’t I shown you enough to where you too can sit back, take a deep breath, relax and take in the beauty around you?  Haven’t I shown you enough to where you too can “just be,” sometimes?  I said I will NEVER leave you nor forsake you, and I meant it.  I won’t take it back.  You are my child, and I want to continue to take care of you.  It’s time you believe me, my child.

…..And there it was.

Perhaps I have a standard for my dog that I myself cannot always meet. Perhaps he has learned to trust me in most areas, but has struggled to trust me with that one.  Maybe I’m a little like that too.  Maybe I give God most of the rooms of my house, but maybe I hold back on giving him that one area. Maybe one day, I’ll squash all my fears, remember His track record, trust him so much that I forget all my fears, sit back, completely relax and just enjoy the view.

Maybe one day, Rosco will do the same too.  In the meantime though, I’ll continue to give him grace, pet him, comfort him, offer him treats and water and dab anti-anxiety essential oil on him – because I love him, and it’s my job to care for him.  I’m not going anywhere, and I want to remind him of that promise even if he doesn’t always readily accept it.  I will continue to pursue him.  He is my fur child.  We are in this thing together.

Wow.  It’s true:  God can even speak through border collies.

“Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.”  -Deuteronomy 31:6

A Time of Fine Lines: Welcome to 2021

hollymarietong Encouragement , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , 0 Comment
A Time of Fine Lines: Welcome to 2021

Welcome to 2021, friends.

During these chaotic times, I’ve been a bit in chaos with myself.

I know who I am, and who God has called me to be.

From a very young age, I knew he called me to write.

I knew he called me to encourage & to lend a hand.

…But…at the same time, I knew he called me to stand for his truths & to defend his word.

I knew my assignment wasn’t always going to be fun or easy.

I knew I would eventually experience persecution.

His word said I would.

I knew people wouldn’t always like what I had to say…

….But I don’t think I ever anticipated this.

January 13, 2021.

For years, I’ve been preparing for perilous times.

I’ve been eternally-minded since 2005, despite some detours and “trying to forget who I am” a few times.

And for the last 16 years, I find myself constantly thinking 4 words.  And they may not be the 4 words you’d expect.  They are, “It’s a fine line.”

What do I mean?

I tell myself I’m not afraid, and most of the time, I’m not.

…But a little bit of uneasiness causes me to strongly rely on the Lord for my peace.

It’s a fine line.

…..And I’ll admit, I feel angry today.

A little righteous anger is okay, I remind myself.

…But unrighteous anger and placing the world above the word is not okay.

It’s a fine line.

….I’m constantly having to check myself before I wreck myself.

“It’s a fine line.  It’s a fine line.”  These words keep coming to me over and over again.  I always thought these words were just for me, but today, I feel like they may be for all of us.

….There are so many fine lines I know I must walk.  And as I walk those fine lines, they make me depend on Christ that much more.  I rely on him to tell me how far to go, and I rely on him to tell me when to scale it back.

…I allow him to discipline me, to humble me and to pull me back in.

So many fine lines.

Do I listen EVERY single time?

Of course not.  He never took away my “humanity” when I gave my life to him.

…But I still remember these fine lines in the back of my mind.

I’m called to lift others up…..but not called to pretend there isn’t a real enemy in the world.

It’s a fine line.

“All bliss” isn’t realistic or authentic, and we should stop pretending it is.

At times, I’m called to a little bit of neutrality…..but never to apathy.

It’s a fine line.

Apathy is weak and dangerous….and makes us all the more easy to devour.

It’s one of my pet peeves.  But sometimes I know I’m not supposed to “get involved.”

It’s a fine line.

I’m called to love….but love doesn’t mean agreeing with everyone.

In today’s America…..that’s a REALLY fine line, and one of the biggest misunderstandings there is.  I’ve said it one thousand times before.  Love doesn’t = agreeing.  And disagreeing and following God’s word doesn’t = hate.  God’s word is not hate speech.

I’m called to be meek…..but not timid.

I’m called to be bold….but not mean.

I’m called to speak out….but not to just be noise.

More fine lines.

I’m called to forgive…..but not to forget or turn a blind eye to everything around me.

I’m called to be a light that doesn’t hide under a bushel…..but not to be a strobe light that blinds other’s visions.

I’m called to unite (with people)……but good must never unite with evil.

I know addressing this even now is another one of those “fine lines.”

Folks, please hear my heart:  It isn’t “people” we are fighting in America right now.  It is the rulers of darkness – the unseen world.

“Ephesians 6:12, NLT: “For we are not fighting against flesh-and-blood enemies, but against evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against mighty powers in this dark world, and against evil spirits in the heavenly places.”

While people should certainly come together and treat one another with kindness…..there is an evil in this world.  We have to acknowledge the ugly.  There is an evil that actually has nothing to do with politics in of itself…..it just happens to make its way into politics, because it can accomplish so much in that realm.  Evil isn’t clueless.  It wants to be seen.  It wants to make a large impact.

Evil knows it can make it’s largest impact in politics and in entertainment.  Evil wants to work through public figures.  It wants to affect the masses.

[What better place for evil to exercise its power than in politics?  Whether you love politics or hate them, they have an affect on your life and your family’s lives].

…But still, there is a fine line. We shouldn’t become inundated or ever start trusting man above God.  No matter who is in the white house, we know who is on the throne.  Just don’t try to tell me Christians should be apathetic here.

….And I now must return to DIVISION:

….I’ve been thinking a lot about the fine line surrounding “division.”

….Not all division is diabolical.

….I said, “Not all division is diabolical.  Sometimes division is necessary.”  Let me explain.

…..I’m called to unite (with people)……but good must never unite with evil.

…..People should unite with people as people…but that doesn’t mean compromising on morals, values, or the word of God.

….Both good and evil will exist in this world until Jesus returns.  Blame it on Adam and Eve and the apple.  We live in a fallen world.  The love and healing we put into this world can certainly make it a more beautiful place….but it doesn’t drive out ALL evil.  It just makes it harder for evil to have its way.  Evil never likes “losing people.”  It always wants to have its way.

Good should always unite with good. People should always unite with PEOPLE.

….But good must not ever unite with evil.

….Uniting with people, but not with ideals can feel like a fine line sometimes, but they are not one-in-the-same.

….I hope we can learn that difference.

…Again, we are not fighting people.  We are fighting agendas, evil plans, corruption, lies……which is ultimately, the rulers of darkness.

…Democrat or Republican, we are seeing the rulers of darkness working in each party right now.

….God is calling us to love and be kind, certainly.  But he isn’t telling us to toss his word, and to unite with evil, either.  

What am I really saying?

I’m saying we should all watch what we say.  There’s never been a more important time than now.

Having a mission of causing trouble on social media isn’t exactly the best use of our time. 

And while it’s much nicer, rightfully garners more approval and certainly doesn’t cause any harm, making “love others and be kind” posts right now aren’t exactly going to just stop all of the evil at work..

 

While there is certainly nothing “wrong” with your post (in fact there is so much right about it),  perhaps it’s the powers-that-be at the top knowing nothing about love and kindness that is the biggest problem here. 

Maybe you and I already know quite a bit about love and kindness…but…maybe, just maybe, THEY are incredibly corrupt….and perhaps they are the ones fueling all the “hate and division” that is so often talked about.  

Love and kindness though does have to start with us though, yes.

Once again. It’s a fine line.

We shouldn’t be getting into pointless arguments, deleting people we love out of our lives, taking each other off Christmas card lists and damaging our relationships with one another.  We shouldn’t be cursing, name-calling or making hurtful accusations.  We also shouldn’t be constantly pushing forward stories and memes that may very well not be true (and that goes for everyone).  There’s already enough confusion out there.

We shouldn’t claim to know everything about anyone’s heart, or exactly where they stand with God.

…..But, the word does say we will know them by their fruit.  So again, it’s a fine line.  We may not see the evidence, but God sees it all.

Yes, the word says we will know them by their fruit.  But this doesn’t mean we should pretend to know everything about their relationship with God, or where they’re going when they die.

And back to social media….

Fighting on social media accomplishes nothing.  We all know this.  No one’s mind gets changed.  [Actually taking action and being the change you want to see in the world is what DOES do something].

….But, remember this doesn’t mean you should become a weakling either.  This doesn’t mean your rare “stance post” is pointless, argumentative or not impacting a life for the better.

And as the old saying goes, “You’ve got to stand for something or you’ll fall for anything.”

Again, apathy is so dangerous.

Perhaps, some of us have had to speak out.  Maybe we are just fed up.

…..But as I said, there remains a fine line.

…There is a TOO MUCH, and there is a TOO LITTLE..

….That isn’t to say EVERY single person should speak out.  You really cannot go wrong with sitting back and holding your peace.  When you don’t know what to say….saying nothing is always the better option.

…If someone doesn’t feel led of the Lord, or feel knowledgeable about such topics…..silence remains much better than noise and incorrect information.  We should never post just to post, or speak just to be heard.  Lord already knows we have enough of that on the internet and on our televisions.  Again, if you don’t know what to say, saying nothing is always a respectable choice.

I think we all know what TOO much looks like….but….

What is TOO little then?  My thoughts:  KNOWING God has called YOU to speak out, to share your stance, to take some kind of action…..and either ignoring or disobeying that call.

As I’ve been saying, there is a time to speak and a time to stay silent.

I was mostly silent for 4 years, except an occasional “neutral” public statement.  After November 3rd, I realized my time had arrived.  And I feel confident saying that.

As a Pastor I respect recently shared:  Do not become angry with God’s messengers. “If they are wrong, let him deal with them.  And then watch how they deal with being wrong.”

I believe I am in the right by speaking out right here, right now, BUT if I’m wrong (and I’ve been before)….I guarantee you, he will show me.

If I’m wrong about the political climate right now, I’ll eventually humbly come to you all when the timing is right…..and let you know.  You can hold me to that.

I believe I was wrong about politics 20+ years, and even as little as 6 years ago.  I’ve already shared that with you…but I do not feel wrong now.  The young me hadn’t truly done her research and didn’t yet know how to think objectively.  I just knew my side, and I really didn’t want to know the other side.  It wasn’t comfortable for me.  I had to allow myself to become uncomfortable and to challenge myself.

I hung my head at times, but I realized the value of learning from my mistakes.

I’m sure I’ll be wrong on parts of what I’m saying, but I’m talking about the big picture here.  Love me or hate me for that…..but you happen to believe you’re right as well, right?  I still have that right too, correct?

I never claimed to believe I was right about EVERYTHING.  I hope no one on this earth honestly believes they are right about EVERYTHING….but sometimes it kind of looks that way, huh?

Now, to wrap all of this up, here are a few other things on my heart:

  • Those who profess to be a follower of Jesus Christ need to remember not to destroy their witnesses during this time.  There isn’t any post or statement that is worth destroying your witness over.  However, if worded properly and prayed over, you can be bold, while still being kind.  You don’t have to destroy anything.  You may make someone angry or hit a nerve in the short-term for sure, but a TRUE God-led “speak-out” will never truly DESTROY your witness in the long-term.  That would be a contradiction, and I don’t believe that.
  • People need to refrain from saying hurtful things they will regret later.  Some things you just can’t take back…
  • No matter how much you believe someone to be wrong, deceived, or misguided, they probably passionately feel that way about you in return.  Remember that.  Again, the battle is not between people.  I’m not friends with anyone who I think is “evil,” and I sure hope no one is viewing me that way.
  • No matter how much you believe what you support to be a stance of love, justice and truth and the direct opposite of hate, injustice and lies……those who believe differently also think their stance to be that.
  • Remember the “fine line” as you go through life.  It’s made a difference in mine, and after years of trying to follow this way of thinking….I decided it was time to share.

The fine line just keeps getting finer.  But hey, the finer the line….the more we can look above for help and wisdom.  (James 1:5).  

We are all a work in progress and America is one big construction site.  Let us just remember who is in the center of it all.

Getting Back to the Basics: (When I reached my “Aha Moment”)

hollymarietong Encouragement, Personal Growth , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , 2 Comments
Getting Back to the Basics: (When I reached my “Aha Moment”)

I came to that grand “Aha moment” seven years ago, on the day of my beloved Grandma’s funeral.

But first, there I was at my one bedroom apartment right outside of Nashville.  It was early morning.  My phone was ringing.  It was my mom. I knew what she was going to tell me before I even picked it up.  I had been trying to mentally prepare, but still, I wanted to cry upon actually hearing the news.  

I got everything ready for Ohio, and I got into my car.  The first two songs that came on the radio were of no coincidence. The one that hit me the hardest was Mercy Me’s, “I Can Only Imagine.”  Grandma never did care about mainstream music, but she had once mentioned that song to me.  She had heard it and really liked it. In fact, it may have been the only mainstream song I had ever heard her mention.  Grandma and I were alike – yet so different.  I knew nearly every song on the radio, while she couldn’t have cared less.  By 2013, “I can only imagine” certainly wasn’t a new song and was seldom on the radio.  In that moment, I knew God was giving me the gentle reminder that Grandma was already at total peace in heaven with Jesus.

And there I was.  I was in my late 20’s and had marked things off my bucket list that I had never even put on there to begin with.  By all outer appearances, my life looked fairly exciting.  Why in the world did I still lack peace?

I thought I was “happy.”  I was sort of happy in an artificial kind of way, but happiness is so much different than joy.  To me, “happiness” is temporary and based on the circumstances of the world around me.  I lacked genuine joy and genuine peace.  How my heart “felt,” was dependent on my circumstances around me……..whereas with joy and peace, you can be content no matter what your circumstances. How I felt was very “conditional” on what was happening vs. what wasn’t happening.

Somehow though, that day opened my eyes in a way that would forever change me.  (Keep in mind I gave my life to Jesus as a child).  I was already saved, yes.  However, I hadn’t really surrendered everything to him in the way I thought I had.  I had accepted him, but not his peace.  I still insisted on complicating my life.  I had lost sight of the basics, and I didn’t even realize it.

My Grandma was undoubtedly proud of me.  She always told me so, but she also always told me she was MOST proud that I had chosen to follow Jesus.  She was the least materialistic” person I’ve ever known.  Her treasures were in Heaven, and it always showed.  All she really needed in her home was her Bible, a few chocolates, a crossword puzzle and some good company.  She hated clutter and was always trying to give something away.  She wasn’t a big shopper, and she cared very little about pop culture trends.  (She didn’t go many places, which I will admit remains a desire in my heart, personally). She would appear very simple in the eyes of this world, but when it came to what mattered most, she knew:   Jesus.  Family. Simplicity.

On the day of her funeral, there was a hint of irony, yet it wasn’t so ironic after all.  If I had to guess, though I cannot say for sure, Grandma probably never rode in a limo her whole life.  However, for her funeral, she had always requested that a limo drive her family to the grave site.  In usual Grandma fashion, she wanted to give “us” something comfortable, and she wanted her homecoming to be more of a celebration than anything else.

Very ironically, riding in a limo was one of the very few things I hadn’t yet crossed off my bucket list.  Crazy huh?  You would THINK I would’ve been in one at some point – a prom, or a special event of some sort, but nope.  This was my first time ever.  To date, it has still been my only time. This was certainly not how I wanted to cross it off, but reality sat in right there in that limo.  So much so, that I couldn’t even see any of its glamour.  It was in that limo that I had a realization that would forever change me.

I was nearing 30, and I had sacrificed love, healthy relationships, and even family time, all so I could pursue my dreams.  I sat in “glamour,” yet still felt pretty empty.  I realized it was eerily symbolic of my whole entire life.  Everyone my age and older in that limo had a special significant other.  I didn’t have anyone to sit next to me, or anyone “lasting” who would be there at the hard day’s end.

“So…THIS is what it ALL comes down to,” I thought.

I realized in that moment, Grandma had it ALL.  She had Jesus, Grandpa, her children and teary-eyed grandchildren that thought the world of her.  Because she had kept her focus, she was now ultimately enjoying the ultimate paradise – a paradise far better than any of my worldly success.

My resume had a lot on it….BUT…would my ultimate “legacy of love” ever be anywhere nearly as special as hers?

One-by-one, at her funeral, we had all talked about her love for Jesus, and how her simple and sweet heart had touched us all.

….It really hit me.  The things I loved most about Grandma had next to nothing to do with worldly success:  I loved how she saved newspaper clippings for us, the simple little snacks she kept in the kitchen for us, her marigolds, her ability to solve a wheel of fortune puzzle….and I just really loved how much she loved Jesus and her family.  

No one was going to care about a modeling gig I had at 25, an award-winning article I wrote, what events I attended, or any of my “career accomplishments” for that matter. 

Now, I knew this revelation didn’t mean I should STOP everything I was doing, but it meant I should definitely recalibrate.

What those who matter most were going to care about at the end of it all is my legacy of faith, how well I loved my family and other people in general.

Boom.  Ouch.

Now, ironically, after this realization, I would call 2013 and 2014 the most successful years of my “entertainment” career.  So ironic.  Ironically, right after I turned 30 (my most feared year), is what I would call the most successful year in the entertainment life.  When I realized how little it all mattered in the big scheme of things….I achieved more than ever before.  When I cared “less,” I accomplished “more.”  The upcoming year which would include my book release, was full of cameras, interviews, TV appearances and writing advancements.  This time though?  I handled it with a newfound perspective.  

…….And then, it was all gone again.  So gone. God certainly has a sense of humor.  He constantly reminds me how very fleeting it all is….yet brings me opportunities that I can store away as great memories.

(Spoiler:  I never did end up with a million followers on Instagram (in fact, I don’t even have a thousand as I barely give that app. any attention at all….but I now know how fleeting our “following” is.  I know I personally want to follow Jesus….not a pop culture figure).

I still worked hard, but I remembered the realization I had.  My Nashville journey would never look quite the same from then on out.  The greater purpose for being here had been revealed.

After ending 2014 with a bang, I tried to cut back on things I didn’t want to do.  I subtracted what no longer felt fruitful. I began focusing on my dating life, but that started out kind of ugly.  It still wasn’t God’s timing.  The most important thing was that my heart was now “open” to whatever he may have for me.  Subsequently, I FINALLY let go of a very long-term and dysfunctional “off and on like a light switch,” relationship that I had been holding onto for years.  It had been a stronghold in my life in many ways, but I finally sincerely made the decision that it no longer had a hold on me.  For the first time ever, I didn’t try to take back what I had given to him.

By placing the broken pieces in HIS hands, MY hands were finally open and ready for the right man.

On Good Friday of 2015, I got a new man in my life….a four-legged one.  I rescued a five month old puppy that would further change my life.  In no time flat, that little border collie I named “Rosco” became my life.  I didn’t feel like going out as much anymore.  He needed my attention.  He was sensitive and seemed to genuinely appreciate my company.  I was told that raising a border collie bares a resemblance to raising a toddler, and I soon found out that was true.  As silly as it sounds, it was a big reminder to me, that it wasn’t just “me,” I was taking care of. 

Also, no matter what I accomplished, my bank account never really matched it no matter how hard I tried.

Life became more about working to live….not living to work.

I’m not complaining though.  I’ve been blessed.  Life circumstances have beat me up more than a few times since moving here, but “Nashville as Nashville,” and the locals have treated me really really well.  So again, no bitterness.  I can hit the pillow tonight knowing I’m blessed and that if I never achieve one more accolade in this city, that I’ll be just fine.

Now, did I get frustrated about the road that country music was/is taking?  Frustrated doesn’t even begin to cover it.  I felt sick about it.  Really really sick.  Did I wait a little too long to pitch some of my songs that sound more 2006ish than 2020ish?  Probably so.  But that is okay too.  I was busy working full-time, and if I wasn’t pitching songs, I was working on something else.  I was probably on the set of a video or a commercial that (age-wise), I may not be casted for today.  Sometimes you just have to choose what you can take on and what you can’t.  But I’ll tell you why I care even less now than I did then:  Country music and my career is fleeting.  It won’t matter 80 years from now. 

Saving country music isn’t my ultimate purpose….saving souls is what is.

Also, as a Christian, I tend to believe that some things are just meant to be while others are not meant to be.  I truly believe if God is leading your life, you will always end up where you are supposed to. God knows what is good for us and what isn’t:  What we are ready for and what we are not.  What is timely and what is not. 

Frankly, there is currently too much going on in the world for me to be overly consumed with ANYTHING pop culture related.  Whether or not there is a lot going on….NOTHING is worth placing above Jesus at anytime.

And here I am today:  Here I am in 2020.  I wrote all of the above well over a year ago and just now decided to hit the publish button.  It’s all now so clear why I felt the strong push to get back to the basics.  Yes, the whirlwind of change continued after I fully placed everything into the Father’s hands.

I’m now going on 3 years of marriage with a husband I adore.  I found him to be the polar opposite of everyone I had dated in the past, and I knew I was ready for that. Though I hated the, “it happens when you least expect it,” cliche with EVERY fiber of my being…..it is exactly what happened in my world.  It happened so fast, that it happened before I even really fathomed it was finally happening.  It only happened when I fully surrendered my past, present and future.

Our precious daughter is about to turn 1.  We are currently planning her first birthday party.  I believe my big revelation was necessary for me to have what I have today.

She inspires me every day to be a better woman.  That rescue pup who first changed my life is well on his way to turning 6.  On both sides of the house, we have the most incredible families.  I was born into the best, and then I somehow ALSO managed to inherit the best by marriage.  I don’t want to miss anything.  I want to nurture, cherish and dedicate myself to what and who matters most.  

And now, I see even more just how much Grandma had it right:  It’s not about the quantity of people in our lives:  It’s about the quality.  It’s not about the possessions in our lives:  It’s about what we have in our hearts.  I remain thankful for my great “Aha Moment.”

No matter where you live, you have experienced the craziness of 2020.  For those of us in Nashville, we experienced tornadoes/storm damage, which was quickly followed by COVID-19 chaos.  Would you know that some of the PERSONAL challenges in my life during this first half of this year have been so overpowering at times, that I almost forgot about how crazy the world has become?  (My challenges have absolutely nothing to do with my marriage or family, so no need to speculate there).  

It’s certainly been a year that’s stretched me to say the least…..but it’s stretched me in the right way:  It’s sent me running straight into the arms of Jesus.  My only hope.  Your only hope.  Our only hope.  I believe EVERYONE’s time is short, but I also believe we do not have to fear.

With that said, I would encourage you to put all of the the things of this world on the back burner.  Is it okay to have goals?  ABSOLUTELY!  But if Jesus were to come back today, what do you want him to see you doing, and how do you think he wants to see you living?  

This is a question I cannot answer for you.  I can only answer for me.

Are we doing things that will matter for eternity, or are we consumed with the fleeting?  Have we over-complicated the Christian journey?

Faith isn’t complicated.  Jesus isn’t complicated.  Heaven isn’t complicated.  Conviction isn’t complicated.  His word isn’t complicated. We may never understand ALL of it, but the message of Jesus is simple.

Love isn’t complicated.  Compassion isn’t complicated.  Prayer isn’t complicated.  Helping your neighbor isn’t complicated. 

Avoiding unnecessary arguments isn’t complicated.  Thinking before you act, speak and post, isn’t complicated. 

With that said, sometimes I worry that I’m not bold enough.  I do know we are to share the truth.  I have been doing that, but I’m wondering if I do enough.  Still, I think about how my Pastor talks about waiting and praying.  Our wiser self often reveals itself later.  Perhaps this is why I’m sharing this blog a year after it’s creation, and why so many other drafts sit in my inbox for months on end.  I never want to post just to post.

I want to lead people TO the truth…never away from it.  I believe He created me to be an encourager, but I don’t believe He created me to be apologetic about His word either. 

Yes. There is a time to speak, a time to stay silent, a way to share and a way not to share.  

I’m still trying to find that delicate balance, but I do know one thing:  Everything I have just mentioned is a “basic.”  I hesitated to use the word “basic,” because the gospel is so far too amazing to be cheapened with a basic word like “basic,” so please understand, I’m only meaning to use it in the right context.  Sometimes we think of the word “basic” to mean “boring” or “uneventful,” but I use basic to say…..His way is necessary, essential and simple.  You don’t have to have a PhD or a VIP pass to be “in” with Jesus.  John 3:16 laid it out for all of us.  We can ALL have a PhD and a VIP pass into his kingdom by simply asking him into our hearts, asking for forgiveness of sins….and truly meaning it.

Do I see everything going on in the world right now?  YES!

However, as my Pastor said a couple months ago, “I am concerned, but not worried.”  I think that’s the place I find myself today.  I am certainly concerned about all that is going on, but I am not worried.  I’ve seen the end of the book of Revelation.  I know who wins.  His name is Jesus.  If you get to know Him, you too will win.

All you have to do is get back to the basics or allow yourself to accept the basics…..the beautiful, peaceful, life-changing, basics.

If you’ve never asked Jesus into your heart, you can now do so, by saying this simple, but meaningful prayer:  Dear Lord Jesus, I know that I am a sinner, and I ask for Your forgiveness. I believe You died for my sins and rose from the dead. I turn from my sins and invite You to come into my heart and life. I want to trust and follow You as my Lord and Savior. In Your Name. Amen.

If you have any questions beyond this, feel free to reach out.  I am here for you:  holly.cokkinias@gmail.com

Let Us Never Forget This Hour

hollymarietong Encouragement , , , , , , , , , , , , , 2 Comments
Let Us Never Forget This Hour

For one of the first times in the history, we all have something in common.  I’m not just talking about Americans.  I’m talking about our brothers and sisters in other nations.

This aggravating, disgusting virus may be one weird way of linking us together…..but it is one thing COVID-19 has accomplished besides sickness, death, greed, panic, fear and unrest.  [As always, God is always in the business of bringing something good out of the bad that he does NOT cause….but we will get into that later].

Now, we’ve always had a FEW things in common prior to this chaos:  We are all part of the human race, created by the same God.  We all bleed red.  We all need oxygen, food and water to live.  We all desire shelter, and a majority of us desire love.  We are sons and daughters and many of us have spouses and children. Yes, we’ve always had a FEW things in common, but now, we have more similarities than ever before.

We are all facing a certain level of uncertainty.  Whether upper, middle or lower class….we are all somewhat in the same boat.  Whether a public figure or a private figure, we can relate to one another.  Yes, money and status still doesn’t hurt, but it can only do so much to help a person right now.

It may mean you can stock up on a few more groceries and some extra supplements….and it may mean you can quarantine in a larger home with more entertainment present….but it doesn’t mean you are excused from the virus.  It doesn’t mean your job is secure.

The world hasn’t stopped spinning, but our individual lives are a bit on pause.  Oh, they’re moving alright.  But, most of us cannot accomplish what we normally can.

Yes, our medical professionals, first responders, truck drivers, grocery store workers, factory workers and farmers courageously remain at work…..so that we can eat and remain healthy.

Some of us (both my husband and I) are still able to work from our laptops at home.

Still….for most…..

The corporate ladder climbing has been postponed.

Rush hour is now quiet hour.

The games, concerts and movies will just have to wait.

…..There aren’t any sports scores to check.

……Pop culture is suffering.  It’s so much quieter.  Being famous is suddenly so much less important than it once was.  (Which I have to admit is one of the few things I haven’t minded).  Even most celebrity news in some way mentions COVID-19.

…..The daily selfies and self-promotion posts have decreased.  Narcissism cannot thrive quite like it once did.  At the least, the narcissist is getting less validation these days.

At this moment in time, we are all one in the same.  In this hour, it’s become apparent who the real heroes are……and they are the first responders, medical professionals, farmers, truckers, factory workers, grocery store workers, teachers, etc.  They’ve always been the heroes, but they’re just now finally getting the recognition they’ve always deserved.  I’m enjoying that fact, if not much else.

Yes.  In this hour…the sports are ripped away.  The music is quieter. Filming of our favorite TV shows is now halted.  Travel is suspended.

What is most important, is now staring right at us…..in this hour.

…Because in this hour we are forced to look at our homes and forced to examine our relationship with the people in them.

People are more concerned with essentials than they are with luxuries.

……..Nearly all the distractions are gone.  The noise is off.

…….The bare bones of our world have been exposed.  The chance to look at what matters and what doesn’t is here.

Until now, have we been filling our lives with a lot of clutter we don’t need?  When it comes right down to it, have we been carrying a load we don’t need to carry?  Is our version of productivity really productivity?

I’ve certainly been guilty of living fruitlessly, all while having good intentions.  I’ve stayed busy, thinking busy made me productive.  Is it just me, or do we all do that from time to time?

Do we ever find ourselves sincerely seeking God in crisis, tragedy and uncertainty…..but then, when life turns to normal do we kind of just revert back to our normal, comfortable, way of living?  Do we just kind of get unhealthily busy with the things of this world all over again?

I can’t help but think about 9-11.

Remember how we all came together and prayed during that time?

You can say we didn’t forget 9-11….and I wouldn’t say we did entirely….BUT if we had remembered it as we should…..how did pop culture, greed and living contrary to the Bible become so prominent and popular again?

Why did the things of this world very clearly become idols again?

This country may not have forgotten the tragedy, but it seems that the stillness was forgotten.  It seems that the mindset was forgotten.

The “being thankful for every day and living every day like it’s your last” mindset hasn’t seemed to be the continued sentiment by and large.  I’m not pointing my finger or speaking to one person.  I’m not saying I’m not sometimes guilty myself.

Do some live every day thankful like I speak of?  OF COURSE.  Maybe you’re reading this right now and thinking, hey, I’ve never left that mindset.

I myself like to think I’ve always been a very thankful, never take anything for granted person.  I’ve been living that way for awhile…..but I have to admit I wasn’t quite expecting people to start fighting over toilet paper just yet.  I’m speaking of the general tone of our fast-paced, selfish world, here.

Somewhere along the way we all become too busy again.

Too concerned about the temporary and the fleeting.

Overly concerned about celebrities and athletes who don’t even know or care that we exist.

When things like 9-11 and COVID-19 happen, we see how powerless we are.

We have to question if our usual busyness is really fruitfulness……or if it is in fact just uselessness?

If America truly let 9-11 change it, why has God’s face been spat in so much for the past 19 years?

Why does this nation forget God when things go back to normal?

Will the same happen with COVID-19?  Will this nation forget that we aren’t automatically entitled to a well-stocked grocery store?  That we aren’t entitled to good health?  Our jobs?  Traveling?  A full sports arena?  A night out with friends?  Being able to physically attend our churches?

Maybe we should live every day more like we did during 9-11 and like we do during COVID-19…..more like we are in a quarantine where every single item and person we have is a blessing.

Stop…..smell the flowers…..cherish the fresh air….be thankful.

If you live in Nashville, you also recently experienced the tornado RIGHT before the pandemic hit.  We never really had a break.  We went straight from disaster to pandemic.  Though we personally were blessed to be missed by about 0.4 of a mile, we spent days without power.

Nearby homes and businesses were destroyed.  Lives were lost. I felt guilty for even wishing the power would come back on.  It seemed so petty.  So not fair.

….And I will never ever forget taking shelter in that bathtub holding my innocent, sleeping, (almost 8 mo. old), daughter.  Suddenly NOTHING else mattered except her safety, my husband’s safety, my dog’s safety and our salvation.

As I heard the tornado loud and clear, it sounded like the loudest jet I’ve ever heard (and we live close to the airport).

For a second, I thought about how “this” could be it.

But deep down, I believed we were being protected….and that we still had more to do for the kingdom.

And there it is guys.

Why don’t we live every day as if nothing else matters except love, the word of God and everyone’s salvation?  Why don’t we live every day thankful that God has given us another chance?

There is nothing wrong in itself with entertainment, sports, music and things that aren’t especially significant…..But maybe [with] those things, we should live every day a little more like we do during a national pandemic or a natural disaster.

Electricity?  It’s a blessing.  Food?  Some are going hungry.  Water?  Some are experiencing dehydration.

Every bite we take…..every drop of water we drink….it’s a blessing.

The roof over our head….it’s a blessing.

The cars we drive and our access to gas..it’s a blessing.

The people in our home….they’re a blessing.

Being able to find things like milk, eggs, meat, bread, toilet paper and paper towels…..what a blessing.

Having the freedom to sit in church….Wow.  Amazing.

Getting a regular paycheck that allows you to pay your bills.  What did you do to ever deserve it?

Now, I know in the middle of crisis, people are quick to question God.  Over the years, my Pastor has been so helpful in this area.  His teachings have truly transformed my life.  He has helped me and so many others to see that God is not a car-wrecking, cancer-causing God.  He’s a loving creator.

We, however, are living in a cursed world with a bad devil….where sometimes bad things do happen to good people.  And if these bad things do happen?  We ALWAYS have the hope of heaven, as long as we choose to.  The devil can never ever take away our eternal hope, unless we let him.  His time to wreck havoc is short….very short.  So there you have it….good God, bad devil, cursed world.

No.  God did not create this virus.  No.  He did not bring the tornado through Nashville to teach us something.  No.  He did not just sit back and allow 9-11. But guess what?  He can be found in the midst of our pain.  As I said earlier, he is in the business of bringing good out of the bad.  He knows how to turn things around.

I DO believe he is wanting to work in this hour in a way unlike anything we’ve ever seen.

If God cannot get our attention in this pandemic….then when can He?

Maybe if we lived every day like finding a pack of meat was the highlight of our day, then he just may have our attention?

Maybe if we lived every day like we aren’t entitled to hosting our child’s birthday celebration….we may be making some serious progress in the thankfulness department?

Maybe if we lived every day like a wedding reception is a very special and unusual blessing….we just may be changing as people.

Maybe if we lived every day like hanging out in pajamas, holding your child longer and reading a few more books to him or her, is heaven on earth…..just maybe, we may be allowing God to reach and teach us?

Right now, we have a chance to organize….a chance to purge.  A chance to get our homes together.  But I’m not just talking about our homes.  I’m talking about our lives.  We have a chance to call old friends and to reach out.  A chance to love and treat our families better than we ever have. A chance to spend more time in prayer and in the word of God.

We don’t have after school activities, PTA or girl’s nights out.

Even old broadway is more silent than its ever been. We will just have to find something else to do.

********************************************************

With all of that said, do I think we are in the last, last days?

Only God knows for sure.  I have many reasons and scriptures I can point to which make me believe we are…but remember, God’s timeline is not ours.  In Heaven where life is eternal, 20 years on earth is but a drop in the bucket, and very well could be considered the last last days.  So the last, last days COULD mean we have another 20-400 years here on earth.  I don’t know.  Only God knows.  I’m not claiming to know the day or the hour, but if you follow prophecy at all….we are getting strong warnings that we need to take heed and be ready.  It’s time for us to prioritize and examine what really matters. It’s time for us to eliminate what isn’t fruitful or necessary. Regardless of if Christ is coming now, or 20 years from now….we need to be ready.

Thankfully, when we have the hope of heaven, we do not have to fear the last days.  We can simply enjoy the here and now…..but we can live life knowing that the best is yet to come.

But still….our earthly lives can change in an instant.  Nashvillians know that for not one but TWO reasons lately.

That tornado ripping through could’ve changed any of our lives in an instant.  About as soon as we got our power back and our grocery stores operating as normal…..then came the quarantine.  We could’ve never predicted what March and April (and possibly longer) was going to look like.

In that same way that our lives can change in an instant, why don’t people remember that Christ can come back in an instant?  Why wouldn’t He?  Remember, He says he will come like a thief in the night.  We cannot always predict that next tornado or that next worldwide virus pandemic, but we CAN know for sure that He is coming back at some point….so why do we prepare less or not at all…. for what we know is FOR SURE?

The only certain thing is Jesus Christ….and thank goodness that’s a certainty!  We can live in peace no matter what our current circumstances may look like.  If the worst thing we fear will happen, happens, then we just go to heaven, right?  And let me tell you, fear does NOT exist in heaven.

Do I think we are going to pull through this and have some beautiful and prosperous days ahead here on earth?  I do.  I really do.  I don’t know for how long, but I do believe God has A LOT he still wants to do. As the noise and distractions are turned off, I believe God is moving mountains and transforming lives.  I believe he’s doing an amazing work in our nation and in our world.  I believe this is actually a beautiful time to be alive.  Can it be scary?  Of course.  Even though the Bible tells us over and over and over again not to fear, I’d be lying if I were to say that I never have here and there moments of fear.

I’d also be lying if I were to say I never have sad or discouraging days.  In fact, right before I wrote this blog, I was starting to have one of those.  Then, God reminded me that the best way to get over my sadness is to encourage others today.  He reminded me that he put this post on my heart weeks ago.  And as I write this, I’m feeling less and less discouraged.

As my pastor also recently said, “I don’t get down.  I’m either up…or I’m getting up!”

That is me today.  I’m having to get up.  But as I’m taking in what I’m typing….I’m almost completely back on my feet.

You can be too.

And here you are.  

YOU.  I believe God sees YOU as a potential warrior and victor.  He otherwise wouldn’t have chosen you to be alive at this hour.  These times are not for the weak and the faint at heart.  [However, without him, we can certainly feel both weak and faint at heart].  I believe there is a reason he has each and every one of us here for this hour.

He is the one who created heaven and earth and pre-plans everything…and HE decided a long time ago, that you and I, and our children should be here for a time such as this.  That must mean we ALL have great potential and value that can very positively contribute to this world.

I believe this is a time of a worldwide awakening.  I believe He is going to open eyes and transform hearts.  I believe he is going to restore and renew.  I also believe he is going to expose corruption and clean house in this nation.  I believe there had to be a time such as this for certain things to be brought to light (that is a different blog for a different day, so I will end that topic there).

Remember though, God finds a way to bring good out of the bad.  He works all things together for the good of those who love him.

So if you find yourself bored?  Get into the word.  There’s no better time than now.  Write a friend a handwritten letter.  Organize that messy drawer.  Scrapbook.  Start a blog.  FaceTime an old friend.  There’s no better time to catch up than now.

Surprisingly I haven’t had any shortage of things to do during the quarantine.  In fact, my house is still not where I want it to be.  We do work from home (right now, 5 days a week), so from 8-4:30 each day, my work life does go on as normal.  I guess maybe I have an excuse to STILL feel behind?  But as I focus on what is truly important, I don’t feel so bad about what’s left undone.

So in the meantime, I’m spending a lot of time with my daughter, husband and dog.  [Let’s just say, this quarantine is Rosco’s dream come true.  He never has liked being alone, even if for only a few hours..so this is paradise for him]  I hate the virus situation, but I do cherish the stillness of this time.  I do have peace in this storm.

I plan to print pictures online, and to work on organizing Clara’s photo albums.  I also plan to continue crocheting, writing, organizing the house and working on those projects I’ve been putting off.

I am also going to attend church via livestream (we call it lifestream), every Wednesday and every weekend. This is also my year to read the whole Bible, so you can bet I’m sticking with that plan too….even if I do sometimes get behind for a few days.  I will always find a way to catch back up!  Because guess what? My hope is in Christ, so he deserves all of my attention that he can get.  I’m just glad that I can give him more attention than ever right now.

So yes.  This hour is really really showing us our hope is not in materials, entertainment, the stock market, the economy, possessions, money, jobs, or even other people.

All of the above have always been areas of false hope, but our human nature at times can tempt us into making these things our hope.

But now that the false hopes are ripped away, what is left?  The REAL HOPE!  Our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, is what is left…and thank God for that! He is the same today, yesterday and forever.

We may not know what tomorrow will bring….or even if we have a tomorrow.  But we can know that no matter what comes, we can be safe in his presence.  And with that assurance?  We have nothing to fear.

But as long as we live here on earth……let us never forget this hour…

***********************************************************************

Please join us at Joy Church International via livestream Wednesdays at 7PM, Saturdays at 5PM and Sundays at 11AM (central) at livestream.joychurch.net  Follow us on Facebook 

When God Says “No”

hollymarietong dating, Encouragement, Personal Growth, single life , , , , 0 Comment
When God Says “No”

“Just because he doesn’t answer…..doesn’t mean he don’t care.  Some of God’s greatest gifts are unanswered prayers.”

Yes, I  just quoted some lyrics to a Garth Brooks hit.  To start, Garth is one of my favorite singers of all time.  I also love the idea behind the “Unanswered Prayers” song and always have.  In fact, for many years, it was like an anthem in my life.  I think it is a very well-intended song, and I get what the message is at the core. (The man in the song winds up thankful that he didn’t end up with his high school flame).  When he runs into her later in life, he’s so glad he ended up with his wife instead.  He thanks the good Lord for not giving him what he wanted all those years ago).  I do relate.

In my own world, I’m very thankful God didn’t say “yes” to any of the men I met prior to Kyle.  Some of them were great guys with incredible families, but we just weren’t right for each other in the long run.  Therefore, I’m thankful that they also found the one who was better suited for them.

Others…..well, I’ll just be nice and say, I was spared of a lot of heartache.  Disaster would have been certain.  However, I root for ALL of them. With all of that said, I’m glad that I ended up with Kyle instead of someone else, and that God knew what was better for me far better than I knew what was better for me.

Now, hear me out for a bit.  After many years of investing in my relationship with the Lord and trying to get to know him on a deeper level, I don’t believe “unanswered prayers” is the correct term here.   I believe God answers ALL of our prayers – just not always in the way we expect, or think we want at the time.

I believe a “no” is still an answer to prayer, because when he gives us a “no,” he’s doing so to protect us in some way.  Always answering “yes” would be him agreeing to “our will” instead of his own.

It’s like I said in my “Chick Flicks Lie” book back in 2014 (to paraphrase), when God doesn’t give us what we want, he is either “saving us from something…..or for something.”

And let me tell you – he has saved me so many times.  So many more times than I could ever deserve.  I can look back and see different times when he both saved me from something…..and for something.

…..Because he always knew when a “yes” would destroy my walk, or his purpose for me.  He always knew when a “yes” would bring me financial ruin.  He always knew when a “yes” would keep from living my best life.  He always knew when a “yes” would keep from meeting the right man for me.  He always knew when a “yes” could wind up bringing me stress and heartbreak.  He always, always knew….and he always, always answered.

Today, I know, a combination of his “yesses” his “nos,” and his “not yets” are what has brought me to this happier, more peaceful time in my life.

I believe we need to make a habit of thanking him for ALL of his answers, whatever they may be, because he is the one who sees the big picture.  We only see one step at a time.  Our heavenly father sees the whole staircase.

This is why Proverbs 3:5-6 remains one of  my favorite verses:

Proverbs 3:5-6 

5 Trust in the Lord with all your heart
    and lean not on your own understanding;
6 in all your ways submit to him,
    and he will make your paths straight.[a]

The other day, I had yet another revelation in this area.  Though I won’t get into all of the details, almost 4 years ago, I was determined to make a major change in my life.  In “MY” understanding, this change made perfect sense.  There was a door that appeared to be open, and I was so desperate for change that I tried to walk through that door.  I was relying on my own logic instead of on Him.

It looked like I was going to “get” what I thought I wanted…….but God firmly said, “no.”  

When he said “no,” I was honestly confused.  I must admit that even my ego was a bit bruised, and I try not to have an ego.

I suddenly felt inadequate and like I was no longer “at the top of my game.”  It brought me down a few notches and made me question myself.  It certainly humbled me to say the least.  Looking back though, I clearly remember never actually feeling at “peace” about that transition.  Oddly, a part of me was almost glad the door slammed shut.  It’s very difficult to explain the mix of emotions.

During that frustrating time, I was also seeing someone who was completely wrong for me.  I knew deep down he was wrong for me.  However, he was persistent, and I had developed a “whatever” attitude about that area of my life.  He lived life on the road, and I found myself figuratively going down the same road I had already been on one too many times. I resented the road I was on, yet I was on it all the same.

I was tired….so tired.

I was too tired to notice that God had recently introduced me to my future husband.  He was disguised as a new co-worker.  Someone I just kind of thought would be a new acquaintance who I would see in passing from time to time.

I was too tired to notice that the Lord was busy moving mountains in my life.  It just “appeared” that nothing was happening.

I was too tired to notice that he was saying “no” to that one opportunity, because he was instead bringing me to a much greater “yes.”

I was too tired to notice that if he had agreed to “my will,” NONE of my beautiful future (the now) would have been possible.  Me getting my way would have resulted in ruin on many levels.

Now, fast forward…..here we are in 2019.  I said “yes” to that co-worker, and we have now been married for 2 years.  Our relationship is the polar opposite of any and all past relationships I had.  God knew I needed the opposite.  I would say I now also have the daughter I’ve always dreamed of, but honestly, she’s even greater than I could have imagined.

Jesus Christ remains the foundation of my life – and with him as the foundation, I experience stability and peace each day.  Life isn’t always easy, but I always know he has my back.

Now, here is the kicker:  Just the other day, another huge reason for that “no” he gave me four years ago was revealed.  Again, I won’t get into the specifics and the whys, but let’s just say, hindsight is 20/20.

Sometimes, we don’t necessarily get to see the reason for the “no”…..but sometimes (like in this case), the reason winds up being revealed in big, bold, flashing, neon lights.

If he had said “yes,” instead of “no,” not only would I not have Kyle and Clara today, but I would have had the rug completed yanked out from under me in SO many other areas.  I likely would have been stressed beyond measure and felt my world crumbling in all areas.  Just thinking of all the ways my life almost went in the wrong direction made me anxious.

I pictured myself trying to keep up my home on my own. I pictured foreclosure.  I pictured myself jobless and crying about broken dreams.  I pictured myself in great distress and having no idea where to go from there.  I tried to picture life without Kyle, Clara and the amazing family I married into…..and I just couldn’t.  I didn’t want to.

….Thankfully I was able to shut off that depressing “short film,” and thank the Lord for his “no” four years ago. I was able to smile about where I am now.  Because He is the Lord of my life, “He saved me from something and for something,” just like he has so many times before.

He did answer my prayer.  He always has and always will.

Sometimes we just have to stop and thank Him for his “no’s,”.……because sometimes, his no’s are the greatest answer to prayer of all.

Jamie Burke: Turning Setbacks Into Comebacks

hollymarietong Encouragement, Nashville Music, Personal Growth, single life, Women in Music , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , 1 Comment
Jamie Burke: Turning Setbacks Into Comebacks

When Jamie Burke made the move to Nashville, she had big plans and big dreams in the entertainment industry. In fact, her latest song and video, “Drive” describes her journey quite well.  Today, she still plans, but she hands God the eraser.  She still dreams, but her greatest dream is fulfilling God’s purpose for her life.

Though Jamie has undoubtedly enjoyed success and celebrated accomplishments, she has also experienced a great deal of curveballs, detours and adversity along the way.  She was first known for her high energy performances and breakup songs.  Then, she thought she finally found her Prince Charming….but then, it came to a screeching halt.

To top it all off, it happened very publicly.  Friends starting choosing sides, but Jamie chose the high road.

When 2018 brought her some of the most difficult challenges of her life, she knew she ultimately had two choices:  1.  Give up. OR 2.  Give it all to God.

……….She chose and continues to choose #2.

“God has truly manifested Himself into my life and my heart this year. I have had to rely on Him more than ever before. I whole-heartedly believe this was the year that God humbled me and made me realize not only am I not in control of the world around me, but that it’s ok, because He IS! As a definitive type A woman, this took me a while to be okay with,” reflects Burke.

As part of the “let go and let God” process, she found herself having to set free more than she ever envisioned.  Doors were closing and pages were turning, and in all of that uncertainty, she was reminded of her greatest certainty:  Jesus Christ.

“I have also lost a lot of relationships I was holding on to – some of these for too long.  I got to a place of wondering why I was alone.  Then, I found myself relying on Him for strength and direction, then realizing I would rather have 4 quarters than 100 pennies when it came to relationships and friendships,” says Burke.

As she grows closer to the Lord and continues to remind herself of his promises, she feels the strong pull to purposely use the gifts he’s given her for His glory.  She knows he’s given her the gift of music to connect and to encourage.  She isn’t going to allow her adversities to happen to her in vain – she is going to allow Him to use the bad for the good.  She plans to be a light and to allow even her art and songwriting to go through the transformation process with her.

“2018 has been a year of growth, opportunity, and change. I have had some very high highs and some not so fun lows. I feel like I have grown a lot this year as not just a songwriter and artist, but as a woman.  I have learned to really respect myself, to be more empathetic and perceptive towards others, to appreciate little moments and to be more in the moment. As a writer I have learned to be okay with not sticking to one genre as well being more vulnerable and experimental with my lyrics and story telling,”  shares Burke.

Like most singers and songwriters in Music City, Jamie once felt the pressure to reach a certain level to consider herself “successful.”  Today though?  She is also free from that pressure.

“I believe God has spoken to me and worked in my heart in a very clear and obvious way that FAME is not something any of us should be seeking, which I think is something that is easy to do in the music/entertainment industry. He has really made me realize that while He has given me gifts and talents that should be used, it should never be about the fame that could and can come with it,” says Burke.

“I’ve had my eyes opened to really understand the impact of my music/art, and to really appreciate those moments where a stranger reaches out and says I inspire them or that they really love one of my songs.  Making a difference has become what matters to me,” she continues.

Speaking of encouraging strangers, Jamie has a lot to add.  She wants her fellow women to know that not only does fame not bring validation, but neither does our beloved social media world.

“I’d really like other women to know that social media really doesn’t validate you. Just because your photo didn’t get X amount of likes or you don’t have as many followers as this girl or that person, does not mean you are less beautiful, less valuable, less talented, or less interesting,” she encourages.

With her new chapter, has come new confidence…….but not the kind of confidence that happens from social media compliments or human approval.  In fact, she’s taken notice to not just how pressure-filled, but also how shallow, social media can really be.

“I see so many women my age who are just flat out trying so hard to look important, rich, skinny, fabulous, pretty or sexy.  They’re not even promoting a product or anything – just women trying to validate themselves.  I imagine a world where POOF….instagram is gone, BOOM….Facebook is gone.  Are you suddenly not important?  We allow ourselves to get sucked into that world and frankly, it’s almost like a double-life.  It’s all fake and manipulated,” Jamie says emphatically.

She wants other women to know that their real friends will call them, that their family loves them without or without filters and that check-ins aren’t vital.

“For me, this is another BIG area God has worked in me.  I now feel like social media is just a means of promotion and business marketing, but as far as airing every second of my personal life?  Dunzo.  Been there, done that, got the tee-shirt,” she says with certainty.

There are a few areas of her personal life that she doesn’t mind airing, however:  She has been knocked down, but she got right up.  She has been hurt, but she is allowing herself to heal.  She has been the subject of gossip, but she chooses to press on.  Most importantly, she chooses to love and she chooses to trust her healer and her helper. As a result, she is pressing on, enjoying the simple things and looking forward to the future.

“I feel like I am starting on my comeback! I’ve had a lot of setbacks this year. For example, people can get very brave online and post whatever they want about you, which is really disheartening at times. Most of it is not true…the rest is a misconstrued version of the truth. That has been hard for me. I wanted to fight back against allegations and gossip, but I decided to stay quiet, let things pass over, and just talk to you about it after the dust settles. Have I made mistakes? Yep. I’m human. We all have. I just got lucky and had things broadcast under a microscope. Have I learned from those mistakes? Yep…and I didn’t need any outside opinions or influence,”  shares Burke.

Though she had reason to become angry, she instead chose to build a strong foundation with the bricks thrown at her.  She also didn’t accept the invite to get bitter – she instead chose to get better.

“Those who know me know all the things I’ve struggled with – serious and heavy setbacks, but I’ve tried to maintain a positive attitude.  Most importantly, I’ve tried to be QUIET and LISTEN to God. What is He wanting me to do? Where does He want me to go? When I started listening is when big things began to happen. God picked up all the broken pieces of my heart and my life and said ‘these pieces are a great foundation to build something awesome on’. In doing this, I started to feel JOY and feel like I gained a lot of perspective on life, relationships, and the world around me,” says Burke.

As she began to experience a peace and joy unlike ever before, God began to talk to her about some of the other dreams he’s given her.

“I started my fashion line called 40 East. This is something I’ve always wanted to do,” reveals Burke.

Since she sincerely wants to design for the right reasons, she also donates a portion of each sale to St. Jude.

“I make custom tees, tanks, accessories and more and design everything, solely by myself,” says Burke.

In addition to to pouring herself into design, her passion for music is as strong as ever.

“I’ve also written more songs in the last 6 months or so than ever before and am halfway done with my upcoming 3rd EP/CD,” announces the Nashville entertainer.

“As I keep writing, the ‘problem’ has become ‘ok, what do I want to put on this record, what stories do I want to share, and production wise, where do I want this all to go?’  I’ve noticed that I am not just writing country anymore. I feel like I have grown as a songwriter and artist and used to put myself in a box of ‘I’m going to write this kind of music, I’m going to sound like this artist or that artist.’  Now, I’m just like, ‘I really like the way this sounds’ or ‘ya know what, I’m in a rock mood today’ or ‘I’m feeling this EDM track a lot.’  Collaborations and getting out of my comfort zone are more fun and more appealing,” she explains.

Alongside her love for the arts, she remains active in other various adventures.

“I’ve also been really fortunate to be modeling and doing all kinds of other projects now which I believe has come with the confidence and place I’m at right now,” says Burke.

“As this year or so has come to fruition, I feel like people have noticed a change in me…the way I carry myself has just become a more confident and self-aware person. I don’t believe this has anything to with my appearance! I believe this is 100% confidence in knowing God’s got this, confidence in who I am and what I can not only just offer in relationships and business opportunities, and an overall new approach to my health and fitness,” she continues.

Though her year was full of challenge, Jamie ultimately has come out victorious.  She’s turned her trials into triumphs and her fears into faith.  Rather than looking in her review mirror, she remains focused on the road ahead.

“When you are a genuinely happy person who is ok with who she is, I think the world can see from the inside out. I am staying busy on music and other projects, focusing on healing and health, listening to God and being open to whatever life is going to offer me. I am excited to see what the rest of this year and next year have in store for me…because while I’ve had some mountains to climb and major setbacks…I’ve learned…A setback is just a set up for your comeback!”

To learn more about Jamie and to listen to her music, visit her website.

To keep up with Jamie, follow  her Facebook pages for both her music and latest fashions.

Our Only Hope Is The Only Hope We Need

hollymarietong Encouragement, Personal Growth , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , 1 Comment
Our Only Hope Is The Only Hope We Need

In this unpredictable world, we can sadly predict that there will be multiple depressing headlines waiting for us every morning we wake up. This predictability comes from a combination of a fallen world and the time we’re living in.  I don’t know about you, but when I look around, I don’t find much in this world that I want to trust or place a lot of hope in.

To be honest, I don’t feel all that safe out there anymore.  It doesn’t mean I’ve stopped myself from living life, but I’ve become more skeptical and extra careful in comparison to what I once was.  I’ve been burnt by people I never suspected, and I’ve felt in danger more than once.  I keep my close friend circle small.  I keep my doors locked and my home alarm set.  If at all possible, I never go out alone late at night anymore.  It’s okay to be wise, guys.  There is a difference in being fearful and being wise.  God certainly doesn’t want us to be fearful….but he does teach us to be wise.

Let me clarify.  I’m not a pessimist when it comes to the world in general, but I do think I’m a seasoned realist.  Even more than a seasoned realist of the world, I’ve learned Jesus Christ is my ONLY hope.

He’s the one I never have to be pessimistic or even a realist about:  He’s the one I can ALWAYS be optimistic about.

I learned this lesson the hard way.

Though I gave my life to Jesus when I was a child, I admittedly still deeply had my hope in other outlets until the last couple years.  I didn’t even realize it.  I was looking towards earthly things to make me “happy.”

Something changed my perspective, however.

The joy of the Lord is your strength. -Nehemiah 8:10

You know what else has been life-changing for me?  Realizing the difference between happiness and joy.

See, I can joyfully live in circumstances that aren’t necessarily happy.  How?  My hope isn’t in those circumstances.  My hope is in the Lord, and that is where my joy and strength comes from.  In difficult situations, I can be certain that he has my back and that he will give me the strength I need.  I know I’m still blessed no matter how much my earthly situation tries to convince me otherwise.

We can always rest assured, the world is going to let us down.  At some point, people are going to let us down.  Circumstances are going to let us down.  Finances are going to let us down.  Employers are going to let us down.  Our sports teams are going to let us down.  Our bodies and general health are going to let us down.  Role models are going to let us down.  Our plans are going to let us down.  Our cars are going to let us down.  Our homes are going to let us down. Our dreams are going to let us down.

This isn’t a bad news blog though, friends.  This is GREAT news. This is a reminder that no matter what this world throws at us, we ALWAYS have a never-changing, always truthworthy, always dependable, always loving, source of hope.

The Lord is not fickle.  He is consistent.  He is perfect.  He cannot lie, and he cannot disappoint.  He will reveal himself daily if we’re willing to see and willing to listen.

I know we’re living in scary times.  I know the outlook in this world is discouraging right now.  I know it’s beyond sad out there.  I know it’s frustrating.  I know evil is running wild.

We may not be able run from what is around us…….but we can run to God.

Though he has never let us down….we have all let him down at some point.  The good news is, he is always going to have his arms wide open waiting for us to run back to him.  He doesn’t discriminate.  He doesn’t determine your value or your worthiness by your past track record, by the amount of your sin, successes, failures, resume, job title or bank account.

He never says, “You messed up too many times.  I’m done with you.”

Have you worn out people and lost relationships because of your mistakes?

The same isn’t true with God.  While a sincere apology or asking for forgiveness may not work with a friend, employer or a past relationship……it will always work with God.  You just have to mean it from the heart and allow him to work in you and through you.

Okay….now this a different blog for a different day, but:  The Bible has revealed more than enough for us to know that we have a lot of “end time” signs going on.  No one knows the day or hour, but so much of what God tells us would happen during those times…..is happening RIGHT. NOW.

Christ followers don’t have to be discouraged by this either though.  Our only hope (which is the only hope we need) has also given us the hope of Heaven.  He’s given us the chance to eternally live with him in a place where suffering, pain, evil and discouragement don’t exist.  We just have to humbly accept his invitation and admit our need for him.

We’re just passing through, guys.  This life is just a drop in the bucket compared to eternity….and all the good ahead of us.  The older I get, the more I’m reminded of this.

It isn’t complicated.  Though the Bible is a huge book full of guidance and wisdom, the way of Jesus is a simple concept.  You don’t have to know the whole book cover to cover to be accepted into his kingdom.  It’s by accepting his grace….plain and simple.  Then, if you’ve truly accepted His grace, you should want to live for Him and to help others along the way.  Is the Christian life always simple?  Of course not!  We live in a fallen world, and the Bible tells us we will experience different trials and hardships while we’re here.

However, a believer always has the ultimate hope:  The only hope needed.  ONLY is not a small word here….it’s a huge word.  Though “only” often has a negative connotation, believe me when I say it has a positive connotation in this case.  “Only” doesn’t mean “lack” in this situation….it means “sufficiency”….and “more than enough!”

God does want us to enjoy the here and now.  He wants us to laugh, live joyfully, to relax and to experience good relationships.  He loves blessing us.  As my pastor always says, God wants us to enjoy our Christian lives…..not endure them.  If we’re enduring our Christian lives rather than enjoying….then we’re doing it wrong.

Let me challenge you today though:  Let’s start ultimately focusing on what matters.  If it isn’t going to matter five years from now, maybe it doesn’t deserve your utmost attention right now.

It’s never good to be self-centered, self-absorbed and self-seeking, but with the times we’re living in?  It’s a really, really, bad time to be that way.

If your ultimate focus is your outer beauty or selfish goals, which have nothing to do with the Lord or people….I encourage you to dig a little deeper.

Is it wrong to want to look good and/or want to pursue your dreams?  Of course not! Just make sure he’s the center of it all.  Just make sure that your ultimate motivation for whatever you’re actively pursuing is the Lord and the good of people.

What is my platform here?  Well, I’m just a real person who has experienced real things.  I’ve had some harsh reality checks a time or two.  I’ve been FORCED to learn what matters vs. what doesn’t.  I got exactly what I wanted a time or two in the pursuit of my dreams and still experienced emptiness.  Why?  There was NOTHING else that could fill the void of Jesus.  I had that void, because, although I knew Him….my ultimate hope wasn’t yet in Him.

Yes, only God knows the day and hour when he will return.  However, it’s always possible he can return on any given day at any given time. I know if he is to come back this week, I’d rather he see me investing in Him and people, instead of selfishly just doing something All.About.Holly. OR chasing the pleasures of this world.

Is it wrong for me to invest in myself?  NO!  I need to do some meaningless, relaxing, “Holly things” here and there.  Otherwise, I’m not healthy, and I’m spread way too thin.  Then, I’m of no use for God and for people.  It isn’t required that every single day of my life be incredibly significant and life-changing.  He doesn’t mind if I watch a good, clean TV show for rest and relaxation.  He doesn’t mind if I want pretty nails.  He doesn’t mind if I want to go enjoy a sporting event on my Saturday afternoon.  I’m convinced he smiles when I occasionally sleep in.  It’s okay for me to NOT take on every ministry assignment offered to me and to say “no” sometimes. Rest and relaxation is healthy and his word encourages it.

It’s all about balance and perspective though, guys.

What is REALLY getting our attention….and where is our ultimate hope?

Matthew 6:21 says, “For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also.”

Remember, anytime I talk to you, I’m also talking to myself.  This blog is for you to relate to.  It’s to help us walk this thing out together.  God has been challenging me in this area in a big, big way.

What about you?  Where is your focus?  Where is your hope?  I encourage you to think about that today and in the days ahead.  Let him speak to your heart.

 

Treat everything like “new”

hollymarietong Encouragement, Personal Growth , , , , , , , , , , , , , 2 Comments

house-2

“Treat everything like new….and nothing will ever get old.”

Those are the words God placed in my spirit as I climbed into my 2013 Honda CRV yesterday.  Then, I let him deal with me a little more.  Though my car is 3 going on 4 years old, I need to continue to treat it as if it’s new.  I need to especially treat it as new since I’m planning on being car payment free for years to come.  If my car is still looking, driving and feeling great, I’ll be less tempted to trade it in before needed. He’s been telling me to love and care for that vehicle like I did on day one of owning it, but today, he asked me to treat everything as if it’s new.

He placed it on my heart that when we stop treating our blessings as new, it’s possible that we’re subconsciously being a little less thankful than we ought to be.  Maybe this only applies to me, but I was thinking about how sometimes the newness of my possessions wear off for me. When that newness wears off, I can take things for granted, if not careful.  Now, don’t get me wrong.  I consider myself a very thankful person.  However, if I’m ALWAYS being as thankful as I can be, why do I eventually get a little careless over time? I always love that new car when I first get it.  I’m washing it, sweeping it, and taking it in for regular maintenance before it’s even time.  But then, I’ve had a habit of gradually caring about it just a little less.  Gradually it gets a little messier.  Gradually I cut down on the washing and the sweeping.  Maybe I’ll go over just a little more on those regular maintenance suggestions than what I did in the beginning.  Then, as the new body styles come out….I kind of wish I had the newer look instead.

It’s not just my car.  Even the newness of my home has worn off just a little.  It’s 2,125 square feet to clean, and unfortunately it doesn’t clean itself.  It wasn’t long after I moved in that it was time to replace a lot of its original amenities.  It looked so new when I moved in.  Now, when I look around, it seems a little older than that first time I walked through it with stars in my eyes.  I love it, and I’m beyond thankful, but that ungrateful attitude occasionally creeps in.

God didn’t stop there though.  I could probably be even more careful with the laptops and iPhones he provides me with.  I need to keep up with the necessary updates and the virus protections.  I should take good care of my screens and clean them regularly.  I need to treat them like new.

And why do I stop putting my glasses in their case?  I’m simply inviting scratches and damages.

Why does my new purse eventually fill up with receipts and other junk?

Why do I start out so excited about a new side business venture, and then just kind of stop working at it?  “Finish what you start,” is another thing He’s dealing with me on, but that’s a whole separate blog in itself.

The point is this, my friends:  When we start getting careless with anything, we’re in the danger zone of unthankfulness, whether we realize it or not.  Someone out there would LOVE to have what we’ve already grown tired of.  When we get careless, stop nurturing and start getting lazy with our regular maintenance, we’re also shortening the lifespan of things that could possibly last longer.  In the long run, it’s that attitude that causes us more time, money and trouble.  In the long run, we are not really being the best steward we can be.

What about your job?  Treat it like it’s new.  Treat it like it pays you double the salary you actually receive.  Someone out there is praying for a job half as good as yours.

Your friendships?  Treat them like they’re new.  Someone out there wishes they had a supportive friend like yours.

Your family?  Treat them like they’re new.  Your children might be driving you crazy, but someone out there is praying to have just one child.

Your rescue dog?  Treat him like he’s new.  He still looks at you as if you’re new.  It’s that same love he felt for you when you rescued him from that lonely kennel of uncertainty. I guarantee it.

Your relationship?  Treat it like it’s new.  I certainly can’t speak for everyone.  In my situation though, I know there’s plenty of women out there that would love to have someone as handsome, sweet, driven, smart, loyal and responsible as my guy.  Therefore, I always want to be thankful without waiver.

I have to honestly say I’ve always treated my relationship, loved ones and my dog as if they’re new.  I may stumble in the “treating possessions like they’re new” area, but I always remain very dedicated to the people in my life.  Even if I sometimes get bad at picking up the phone, my love and loyalty remains the same.  It seems to be a strength of mine, and I pray it stays one.

Interestingly enough, my romantic relationship is part of what inspired me to start treating everything else as if it’s new.  Yes, that’s right.  My boyfriend is so much better at this “treat everything like its new” thing than I am. He takes really good care of everything he owns:  His car, his suits, his sunglasses, his work space, his flash drives and pretty much everything else. I love that about him. He’s been teaching me the “treat everything like its new” concept without even realizing it.  Best of all?  He treats me like I’m new to his life…but we’re of course increasingly more comfortable and know each other on a much deeper level than the beginning of our relationship.  Still, he continues to make me feel just as special and cared about as day one….actually even more so now.

Let the bible be your guide concerning your own relationship.  It says a whole lot about love, loyalty and commitment.  If you need wisdom in this area, just ask God, and he will be glad to give it to you.  (James 1:5)

img_2193

Yes, many possessions and jobs (NOT good, loyal, committed people) eventually need replacing….but it seems that the longer we treat something as new, the better the chance we stand at it lasting longer (in some cases, forever).  The better we treat anything, the more fulfilling it will be.  Even if something grows too old to keep, we probably made it last longer if we always treated it as new.  The possession may have grown old in years, but it doesn’t have to grow old in our hearts.  If we loved it enough, we’ll dread the day it needs replaced.  We also simply remain more thankful for those possessions and opportunities whether we realize it or not.  Now, don’t hear me wrong here.  I’m certainly NOT  encouraging materialism.  I’m actually encouraging an attitude of thankfulness, appreciation and contentment with what He’s already blessed us with.

When we treat everything as if it’s new….it never gets old.

 

 

 

Key verse:  (In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you).  -1 Thessalonians 5:18

 

10 Free & Easy Ways to Improve Your Life

hollymarietong Personal Growth, Uncategorized , , , , , , , , , , , 0 Comment
10 Free & Easy Ways to Improve Your Life

fullsizerender-2

Instant gratification.  It’s easy to think we can have it these days.  After all, we happen to live in a swipe right, click the mouse and order it up kind of world.  However, general life is often more of a waiting game.  When we become preoccupied with reaching a destination rather than the journey itself, we deprive ourselves of living in the moment.  We miss the lesson, and we ultimately miss the blessing.  Life’s storms have a way of raging on from time to time.  Maybe you feel like you’re trapped in a reoccuring storm, and you can’t see an end in sight.  To my knowledge, there isn’t any such thing as a storm that lasts forever.

fullsizerender-24

Sometimes there just isn’t any easy fix or clear answer to life’s trials.  Sometimes we just have to endure the storm, let it pass and learn from it.  Sometimes we just don’t have the time, the money, the people or the resources to get to where we want to be, when we want to get there.  However, it is important to remember that delays don’t mean denials.  Likewise, limitations don’t mean one needs to be hopeless. Bad days don’t make for a bad life. While life may currently be traveling at slow pace on an unknown winding road, there are free and easy ways we can improve our lives in the moment.  No, we may not get instant gratification, but we can get instant improvement:

  1. Give it to God.  Call it cliche, but I simply cannot publish a blog post about improving one’s life without making this #1 on the list.  Over and over again his word says, “do not fear.”  Over and over in my life, he’s proven himself faithful.  He wants to carry our burdens for us and give us peace in the midst of life’s storms.  His word never does promise that we’ll be without trials.  In fact, it assures us that we will face trials.  However, we are also assured that through our trials we develop perseverance and character.  The good Lord also promises to give wisdom to those who ask for it.  (James 1, 1 Peter 5:7, Proverbs 3:5-6 and Exodus 14:13-14 are some of my favorite scriptures to remember during uncertain times).fullsizerender-28
  2. Get organized.  This may sound insignificant to some, but for me personally, it’s very significant.  I’m still a work in progress in this area, but the more organized I become, the better I feel.  I’ve never found anything good to come out of disorganization, but I’ve always found something good to come out of organization.  Being disorganized wastes time and money, while simply creating unneeded stress.  Even when life feels “messy”…..I feel just a little better knowing I have an organized home, car and work space.  img_2080
  3. Purge and get rid of things you don’t need.  The older I get, the more I hate clutter.  God began dealing with me concerning clutter a few years ago.  For six weeks of my l life, I ended up in a situation where I had to live with “less.”  While I stayed between friend’s homes, I had a little amount of “stuff” with me.  I was able to focus more on people and the things of God.  I realized I had enough, and I didn’t miss all the stuff back at my apartment.  I then moved all that junk to my new home, but let me tell you, it wasn’t long before I did the biggest closest cleaning of my life.  I recruited my sister and opinionated guy friend to act like judges on the “What not to wear,” show.  I told them to be brutal during my “fashion show.” By the time they were done saying things like, “you don’t need that,” “that’s hideous,” and “what were you thinking when you bought that,” my closet was about 50% lighter.  I’m still working on purging, but I’d say I’ve downsized my possessions by at least 25% since buying my new home.  Purging is also great, because you have the options of giving these items to someone in need or selling them to make money…..or both.  If part of your issue is finances, sometimes a nice secondary income can happen by simply selling things you don’t need.  Ebay and yard sales is where it’s at, friends. Ever since God placed the words, “where there is clutter, there is no clarity,” in my spirit…I’ve been taking this whole decluttering thing pretty serious.fullsizerender-32
  4. Avoid drama and toxic people.  Although this may seem like common sense, it’s a common struggle area for many.  Myself included.  I’ve heard it said, “show me your friends, and I’ll show you your future.” Just one toxic person in a boat is all it takes to sink it.  Though there will always be invites to various theatrical performances, we don’t have to attend them.  Instead of RSVP’ing with a “yes,”….remember you have the “no” option.  We also don’t have to suit up for every battle we’re invited to.  Failure to choose battles wisely will end up resulting in constant combat.fullsizerender-11
  5. Surround yourself with positive people and good things.  As an antonym to #4, positivity and good inner circles bring good things.  Positive people and positive environments not surprisingly bring encouragement, support and inspiration, which eventually results in good outcomes.fullsizerender-19
  6. Give away whatever it is that you’re needing.  Need a hug?  Give one. Want a friend?  Be one.  Want love?  Love someone.  When we give away whatever it is we’re needing, we somehow end up more blessed than we would have if we had simply received without giving.  Giving.  It’s good for the soul.  Always has been.  Always will be.cropped-blog.home_.3.jpg
  7. Let go of what you can’t change.  Refusing to let go of what one cannot change is about as useless as shattered glass.  We can’t fix it no matter how much we discuss it, rehearse it and overthink it.  If we’ve done all we can do to make right our wrongs, we’ve done all we can do.  This ties back to #1……give it to God.fullsizerender-15
  8. Rid yourself of bitterness.  I’ve heard it said that holding a grudge is basically letting someone live rent free in one’s head.  It ultimately affects the offended more than the offender.  Like disorganization, I’ve never known of anything good to come from bitterness. Bitterness was created by the devil.  Don’t forget his mission is to steal, kill and destroy.  Hang on to that bitterness, and rest assured, all it will do is steal, kill and destroy you.  Break free and never look back.fullsizerender-36
  9. Be responsible.  If life is already hitting hard, the biggest mistake one can make is to be irresponsible.  Completely neglecting finances and obligations, while taking on a lifestyle of recklessness and carelessness will always result in negative consequences.  Playing catch up results in a lot of clean up, which results in more unnecessary stress.  fullsizerender-7
  10. Be grateful for what you do have.  As simple as it sounds, counting blessings makes all the difference.  When we look at what we do have instead of what we don’t have, it creates an attitude of thankfulness.  Thankfulness is a sibling to contentment.  Though God wants to bless each and every one of us, he doesn’t want us to forget the ways in which we’re already blessed.  Don’t like your current job?  How about you start by writing down ten things you like about the job you do have?  For starters….do they pay you?  Want a new car simply because yours is old and boring?  How about the fact that it runs and you no longer have a car payment?  Did you wake up this morning?  How about that bed and roof over your head?

 

There is always something to be thankful for……always.  Never lose hope.  Always look to him…..the author and the finisher of our faith (Hebrews 12:2).  We can choose peace and joy, while we wait on the vision and the harvest (Habakkuk 2:3 and Galatians 6:9).  He always sees us through, and he always will.