Okay, so now that I (forever ago) shared all the “budget bride” tips in part one that I could possibly think of, it’s FINALLY time for me to break down our special day….as promised. As I write this, we have already been married for over 11 months. I’m not sure how that happens, but I have finally learned I don’t have any control over time. Hey, we are still considered newlyweds, right? Right. I think. Anyways, in honor of being so close to our one year mark, here we go.
As promised earlier (now months back), I am going to share HOW we had the wedding of our dreams….yet kept things humble in the process.
So here goes:
Ever since December 24, 2016, I had been planning our wedding. My then boyfriend (now husband), Kyle, popped the question that day at the Union Station Hotel. Kyle hired Adelaide Street Media to capture our big moment. This unforgettable moment was just our beginning, however.
Every day following that day has been a blur. A mostly beautiful blur, but nonetheless, a blur. The whole entire wedding process was a blur, as was our wedding itself. Still, that late summer day was a somehow very memorable blur that I’ll forever cherish. Though it all went by too quickly, all that planning was worth it in the end. Ever since that day, I’ve found myself replaying those special moments in my head daily.
Looking back now, I see why every single day mattered from December 24, 2016 to August 19, 2017. I (along with those who helped me) seemingly needed a full eight months to put the wedding I wanted in motion. (Apparently, I also need even longer to publish this promised blog). I suppose I probably could have planned the wedding in a little less time, but I’m glad I didn’t have to.
Confession: I was so excited to get engaged to the man I’ve waited for my whole life. I knew I was marrying the right person, and today, I know I married the right person. However, the early wedding planning process itself left me discouraged and appalled by a great deal of today’s wedding industry. As I called venues and vendors, I found myself seriously contemplating elopement. My then fiance’ said from the get-go he was more than fine with a courthouse wedding. To keep my chin up, he even told me he didn’t care if we got married on the side of the street somewhere…..he was still marrying me. As we had these kinds of talks, I had to remind myself what truly mattered in the long run:
It was the marriage….NOT the wedding.
Sure, a majority of women in this world dream of the right dress, a movie-like setting and an overall beautiful day, but I had to remind myself not to get wrapped up in a wedding alone. Now, almost a year later……I’m so glad I didn’t.
Again though, that’s not to say I didn’t have a gorgeous, memorable wedding. In fact, I continue to be told just that. That’s also not to say that any part of me regrets putting so much time and effort into my day. The beautiful memories I’m left with would make me do the same thing all over again. What I didn’t have though was an overly commercialized, ridiculously extravagant, over the top hoopla-filled, day. Beautiful AND humble is entirely possible, my future brides.
As I said in Part 1 of this series: If you want any kind of a traditional wedding, a beautiful dress, a photographer, videographer, DJ, flowers and a meal for people……you’re not going to get by free. You’re just not (unless you’re a contest winner of some sort). You’re probably not even going to get by “cheap,” but even in the terms of a mostly greedy industry, you can most definitely be on the humble end…..and when your day is over, you’ll sleep better knowing you opted for that route.
Want to know an alarming figure?: The average cost of a wedding (especially in a big city like Nashville) is falling somewhere in the lower end of $20,000 and ranging to about $45,000. Some websites say $30,000 is the new average…..but no matter what the case, these rates are a lot of people’s yearly salaries. Though, not the average, in an area like this, weddings costing $100,000 and up aren’t unheard of either. Now, that’s not to say there aren’t a great deal of people still spending under $10,000. They’re just having to really budget and pay attention to what they’re spending.
If you or someone you know spent on the upwards end…..I’m not knocking anyone’s personal decision. I just knew that wasn’t going to work for my personal situation. Also, this is a frugal blog….so frugal is what I intend to stick to.
Now, my advice may not mean much to you, but honestly, I wish more people had been there to advise me along the way. Thankfully, I had some good, informative people who did, but still, many days I felt like such a rookie (probably because I was)!
Sooo with that said….*drum roll*……..Here is what I did in a nutshell:
After researching about 200 venues and feeling sick after talking to 98% of them, I landed on the beautiful Five Oaks Country Club in Lebanon, TN. When I went to visit Five Oaks, it was a no-brainer: Their pricing was on planet earth, THEY did the food for me (no outside caterer!!….Can we say, “Glory, Hallelujah!?”) AND I had the pleasure of working with their awesome events coordinator, Ashley. In addition to being helpful, knowledgeable and proactive, she put me at ease throughout the whole entire process. With Ashley, there wasn’t any dumb questions, and she was more than happy to coordinate all the things that this “wedding planning rookie” was completely clueless about.
Five Oaks is more beautiful than I can put into words. As the highest point in Wilson County, the view is breathtaking. It looks more like an East TN location than a Middle TN one. There is so much natural beauty there. I knew I didn’t want a blank canvas, but there was plenty of room for us to add our own touches. The reception room was also just what we needed. They had an area for BOTH Kyle and I to get ready and to relax in. It was in a great location which worked out well for our local and out of town guests. To get in line with space, I had to condense my guest list several times. I have to honestly say that’s the hardest part, but in the end, the amount we had felt just right.
Here are just a few pictures of the venue (Both inside and outside):
Okay, so I know what the current wedding trends are: Rustic barn weddings are probably still by far #1 on the list. As a baby, I lived my first time years of life on a dairy farm and farming was (and still very much is) a huge deal of both sides of the house. It’s a way of life. My parents’ home sits on several acres and has not one, but two barns (one of which is as old and as rustic as you can get – it’s currently full of chickens). Way back in the day, I used to think maybe I’d get married in a barn one day to express my style and individuality, but when a wedding was about to be reality for me, I started thinking deeper on it. I wanted to be comfortable on my big day, but I also wanted to feel like I was doing something slightly outside my box. I always pictured that one day of my life feeling a little more glamorous than my prior typical every day life. I started thinking about how it’d feel to get married in a mansion or some place I don’t normally frequent. Though I’ve never wanted ridiculously flashy, I kind of wanted this day to stand apart from all the rest. I wanted a little more bling than typical Holly. I also wanted a variety of color. I kind of wanted to go somewhere only somewhat unpredictable, yet very comfortable. Also, I couldn’t justify renting a barn here (for their asking prices), when we have countless family barns back home.
I also just simply didn’t want to do the wedding in Ohio. I wanted to do it in TN. Kyle and I live in TN (he’s lived here his whole life), and I’ve been here since 2005. Truth be told….most of my closest friends now are right here in TN. I also felt my closest friends and family from Ohio may even enjoy a fun little weekend vacation considering Lebanon is only 20-30 minutes from downtown Nashville.
Yes, I could have gotten married at the awesome church where I’m a member, but for several reasons, it was kind of easier just to do a one stop situation for everyone. Our awesome pastor was thrilled to come officiate it at Five Oaks.
When I stumbled across the country club, it felt right. First of all, it was in Lebanon away from downtown Nashville. I knew I wanted a laid back setting with zero parking issues that day. I tend to stress about small spaces and parking, and knew I needed something that people could easily get to and hang out at for the day. Lebanon is also closer to Crossville (where Kyle’s whole half of the guest list would be coming from). It’s also on the side of town I’ve always loved most.
It just felt like the spot where I could say I do. Remember how I said I wanted the day to feel somewhat like me, but with something a little extra? My family has always liked big open spaces, golf courses, driving ranges and putt putt kind of places, though they are not our every day surroundings. We even have a golf cart on our farm. In perfect natural fashion, dad got to drive me up to our walkway on a golf cart, which felt a bit like home (without actually being home). Something was so calming about him driving me up on a golf course. I felt so at peace. I felt comfortable and like “Holly,” but I felt like it was a unique, once-in-a-lifetime day all at the same time.
*The Ceremony Recap*
As you’ll read later, we had a “family only” bridal party for a good reason.
We went the traditional route with having ushers. My longest-running Nashville friend Mark served for my guests, while Kyle’s cousin Andy escorted his side in.
We also went with a lot of traditional wedding music. I have ALWAYS wanted Pachelbel’s Cannon in D playing during my ceremony, and I was not about to change my mind. However, I also had one of my best friends (Kamber Cain) sing one of her original songs, “Your Love Is Like a Sunday” shortly before our entrances.
When I walked up on the ceremony sight that day, I was blown away and had to hold back tears. So many times in life, I’ve had a bad habit of picturing things as more beautiful than they actually turn out. This time it was the complete opposite. The sight was full of natural beauty and the special touches our florists and families added were absolutely amazing. It also helped that the weather was perfect. For a year, I was concerned about bad weather and the forecast had even teased it almost all the way up until this day, but it was wrong. Our family and friends were there showing their love and support. Dad and I were finally having the walk I dreamed about my whole life. In perfect Holly fashion though, we were standing back there debating on the “here comes the bride” song and if it was truly time for us to walk or not. After a motion from our DJ and coordinator, we proceeded forward. I couldn’t believe I was finally to that moment.
When I saw Kyle choking up at the end of the altar upon seeing me, I began choking up and was was afraid I’d lose my composure. Somehow, I managed to mostly keep my composure, though I was hanging on by a thread. My Aunt later told me our reactions to one another showed our genuine love for one another and made the entire ceremony a great experience for everyone. We had a dream-like ceremony, which was short and sweet (just how I wanted). Pastor Rob put us at ease, because he’s just that kind of a person, and as expected, he “said a lot in a little time frame.” I wanted it to be a very Christ-centered ceremony….and Pastor Rob sure made that happen.
Okay, so this is going to feel a bit out of order, but let’s talk about what went into the ceremony and everything following it.
My dress. This is obviously a big deal to a bride’s day, but no golden nuggets here, guys. I found exactly what I wanted at David’s Bridal…..and no it wasn’t regular price. Yay! 🙂 I truly believe you can get a gorgeous dress AND veil without spending a fortune. Soon after my engagement, I went dress shopping with my sister and one of my best friends. Though I wasn’t completely sure of what the exact style would be, I had an idea. Though I have a somewhat eclectic personality, my signature style has always been “country chic.” I’ve forever loved lace, but I’ve also forever loved bling. I’ve also always had a vintage/victorian heart. Combine the three and you get my dream dress. I went with what I thought would be “timeless” to me. The vintage-like/yet modernized lace overlay was very unique to me and hard to come by. It also was light and cooler for a hot August wedding. I knew I wasn’t meant to wear a ball gown or anything with a fluffy bottom. While I think they are beautiful on other brides, I never pictured myself in one. I think it’s just one of those “when you know, you know,” things. Somehow, I knew form-fitting was what I would always end up with. I just didn’t know if it would be a-line or mermaid style. After putting on both, it was clear, I was an a-line girl. It also was as comfortable as a wedding dress could be and mostly made to fit, except a super minor alteration I would later do. I knew I may not run across something like it twice. I didn’t want to be overly trendy or go with anything that I could possibly regret years later. I knew I wanted a train, but not a super long one. This dress had everything I wanted. I went “safe” and “Holly-like,” while feeling like it was still like it was the most elegant dress of my life. I found just the right veil and shoes to compliment for just the prices I was wanting.
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What else did we do to make sure our budget didn’t get out of control?
- Other than first and foremost booking a venue that we felt comfort with, we “made” what we could. There is a time for Etsy and a time for purchasing stuff….but there is also a time to make your own. My dad and brother put together a simple/outdoorsey ceremony arbor they made out of branches and tree stumps (as you likely noticed in our ceremony photos). Here is another refresh:When the florist, along with my mother and father-in-law got ahold of it, the results took my breath away. Sorry Etsy….I love you, but we didn’t need you here at all. Also, the three cord strand board for my unity ceremony? My dad was able to use barn siding he had laying around. He constructed the board, painted and used some twine…..and it was seriously the coolest thing ever. I liked it better than anything on Etsy. I also had him get inventive with plenty of other things.
- My sister is a hairstylist, so I obviously had the privilege of her doing my hair and makeup. She knows me better than anyone. She knew on my wedding day I wanted to look “extra glam”….yet like Holly. She knows on any given average day, I spend a whole five minutes on makeup. If I’m just going to work or living my average life, I just do up my eyes and use a little concealer. If I’m running to the store on a day off (I probably don’t wear any…haha). I don’t do blush, foundation or lip color, unless someone else is doing my makeup for a major event (which does occasionally happen). While she had me go outside my usual box, she made sure it wasn’t in an excessive or heavy way. Though I wanted to look like a bride…I didn’t want anyone saying “WOW…Holly looks so different today.” Haley knew the look I was going for. I felt like Holly….but I felt like a bride. She was superwoman that day. She managed to do not just my hair, but also my niece’s and plenty of other people’s while she was at it. She’s such a gem, and I am going to do everything I can to make her future big day….her best day ever.
Kat Bradshaw Photography 
Kat Bradshaw Photography 
Kat Bradshaw Photography 
Kat Bradshaw Photography 3. Okay, back to the small family-only bridal party. Wardrobe was undoubtedly going to cost something, but we weren’t about to go insane there either. My husband was actually the one who suggested the “family only” bridal party, and admittedly, I was kind of glad he did. It wound up taking a HUGE weight off my shoulders. Just thinking of the bridal party part made me really anxious. We both knew we were either the type to feel like we needed about eight people on each side of us, or to just use family. There wasn’t an in between for us. We couldn’t each pick just four friends. Amazingly, all of my closest friends were very supportive of that and were a huge part of our day in other ways. My awesome friend Becky made a GORGEOUS flower girl dress for my niece Caylin. My sister and older niece wore David’s Bridal dresses. I wanted them to love their dresses. I didn’t want them to feel forced to wear anything that felt too outside their box. Haley and I quickly came to an agreement that hers didn’t have to be a typical wedding party dress. I wanted her to love it and to actually want to wear it again someday. The guys wore Men’s Warehouse tuxes (the ring bearer included). Instead of bridal party photos, I took some special pictures with some of my dearest friends – almost like unofficial bridal party photos in a sense. They wore what they felt most comfortable in, and their colors complimented our palette. I had them come early and hang out! Several of them sang throughout the day (and each sounded absolutely amazing). Some have bridesmaids standing up beside them, but me? Mine stood up there with microphones, because that’s how we roll 🙂 Kyle’s brother Jake was the best man, while my sister Haley was the maid of honor. My niece Christina was Jr. Bridesmaid, while my niece Caylin was the flower girl and nephew Carson was the ring bearer. It was simple and we liked it.
4. Pretty much anything the venue provided for me to use….I used it. Why wouldn’t I? I didn’t need to rent linens. I used theirs. Table runners? I got cheap ones online from Efavor Mart. Their tables and chairs were all good with me, and the already decorated country club helped a lot too. I wasn’t dealing with a blank canvas, and I loved that fact.
5. We took pictures at both the country club and nearby at the Gorgeous Mitchell House Mansion (there in Lebanon, TN). A majority of our first photos as a couple following the ceremony (no, we did not do a first look) took place at the mansion. We also got some great family photos there! The Mitchell House was another GORGEOUS middle TN venue. I say “was” because sadly they are no longer booking weddings, but I will forever be grateful that we were able to take such special photos there. Susan was so kind to open their doors to us that day, and I’ll never forget her kindness. The natural country club setting was also perfect for sunset pictures.
6. I got my wedding cake from Publix, and I’m dang proud of it! It was beautiful, and probably tasted better than half of the high dollar stuff out there. We went with a 3 tier buttercream cake and an extra sheet cake. We had chocolate, white, white with raspberry filling AND strawberry. My friend Jessica Barnett is an amazing cake decorator there. She did a wonderful job and everyone loved it! Our florist brought some more gorgeous flowers which ended up being placed on the cake as well.
7. For me personally, a DJ was always an absolute must! I went with Rob Baughman of Groove Source Entertainment. He did a great job on our ceremony as well as our reception. He was very interactive and got people up and dancing. A DJ honestly ends up with a huge responsibility on someone’s wedding day and Rob made ours fun and stress-free. Once again, he was totally cool with guiding a rookie along. He was very affordable and took a huge weight off of our shoulders. Rob has since retired from DJ’ing, for more family time and because he has some other incredible career opportunities going on.
8. So since we’re talking about the reception, let’s talk a little more about it, and what all went into it. We chose the BBQ buffet route for dinner. It was delicious, and I felt it would make everyone content. I always tell bride-to-be’s, food doesn’t last forever….but photos and videos do!
9. All of these photos you’re seeing? We went with Kat Bradshaw Photography. Kat and her husband Anthony worked our wedding day as a team to get all of the key shots of each of us. While so many photographers today only want to do 6 hour days and charge a lot for anything further, Kat and Anthony was there from the beginning of the day until the end. They were such great sports and made us feel peaceful and full of newlywed joy. They are very reasonably priced and second to none. We received thousands of photos and all of them were in black and white AND color. As I go through these photos, I feel like I see something new every time.
10. We were also COMPLETELY blessed with the videographer situation. Kyle’s sweet cousin Tessa has a photography/videography business called Adelaide Street Media. Thankfully, she was willing to do our wedding video, and she did a beautiful job. She captured all the key moments and because of her, I can relive our day anytime I want to. Just so you all know, she is also very affordable and second to none. You will thank me for my referral later. You can view our wedding video here: https://adelaidestreetmedia.com/film/
11. My blessings didn’t end there though. My mother-in-law works for Hatler’s Florist in Crossville, TN. Hatler’s gave us incredible personalized attention and seriously put together the most beautiful bouquets and flower arrangements I ever dreamed possible. I KNOW I would not have gotten that kind of attention or guidance from any large Nashville florist. Hatler’s was the absolute perfect situation, and they were very patient with all of my silly questions. Our colors were plum and charcoal gray. I still gasp when I look at pictures of my bouquet. I dried it out and kept it as potpourri which remains on display in our house.
12. When it came to centerpieces, I borrowed at least half of my decorations. I borrowed globes and mirrors for my floating flowers. Since we were slightly short in those available to us, my mother-in-law found me some awesome vintage vases to bring a variety to our centerpieces. It brought a neat variety and made every table look slightly unique. I then got some little lights, jewels and flower petals at Hobby Lobby to further amplify our look. I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again, Hobby Lobby’s bridal stuff is 50% off frequently – you just need to watch their ad.
And while we’re at it here are some other reception pictures. Included are some photos of my dad, father-in-law, brother and husband dancing to the YMCA together (yet another great idea DJ Rob had):
Other fun/somewhat unique things we did:
- I knew other than a traditional guestbook (which I’m also SO glad I still ended up doing), I wanted people to sign something fun that we could always keep. I know most people now have their guests sign a big photo, which is super cool and a great keepsake. I almost went that route, but then I decided on a guitar instead (it now sits on a stand by our fire place). My dad painted an old antique guitar white for us….and voila!: People signed their names and a little note with a sharpie. The guitar was extra significant, because while neither Kyle or I are HUGE musicians, we both can play a little. Not just that though: An acoustic guitar is why I ultimately moved to Nashville for songwriting. It was the love of country music and an acoustic guitar that made me pack up life when I was 20. It was an acoustic guitar put behind my lyrics that made so many of dreams come true. The acoustic guitar is what kept me here and kept me fighting for the dream….and why I ultimately eventually met Kyle. It was only appropriate for us to incorporate a guitar.
- To compliment the guitar, we had guitar pic favors: Each pic had our photo and on the back read, “Kyle picked Holly.” Call it cheesy if you like, but I LOVED these favors and would do it all over again.
- We didn’t do the dollar dance, but we had a fun little “Honeymoon Fund” jar out (and yes, we enjoyed that extra cash on our honeymoon).
- We also had a message in the bottle milk bottle out, where people could roll up a little note to us that we read one year from now. Hey, there is still ONE thing I have to look forward to. We will be reading those messages in a little less than a month from now.
- Dad also made us an adorable “Ring the bell” for the bride and groom to sit out at our reception.
- Instead of bubbles, sparklers, rice or something else, we did lavender: I ordered the best grade of lavender online (priorities), and it STILL smells heavenly. My sister and I placed all the lavender into gorgeous lace bags (thanks Hobby Lobby!), and I wrote a “lavender” poem that we put inside each bag. Once we were pronounced husband and wife, it was the guest’s chance to toss lavender at us as we made our exit to our pictures. I love lavender….did I mention that? The color was perfect for our color palette.
7. While I’m not sure it’s necessarily unique in 2018, we provided sunglasses for all of our guests – just plain, colorful fun shades that they could wear during the ceremony and maybe even enjoy wearing well beyond our wedding. It made things fun, and I enjoyed seeing photos of our family and friends wearing our shades. I ordered them in bulk from Amazon.
Here are some other highlights of our big day:
With our small bridal party, our reception entrance was pretty quick, but memorable. Kyle wanted to walk in to Ric Flair’s song with “Shook Me All Night Long” following….so that is exactly what we did. 
Now, for the unexpected. My dear friend Katie Hahn and I have been co-writing songs for the last several years. I told her I wanted to surprise Kyle with an original song at our wedding reception. Being the cool person she is, she was completely up for it. I jotted down some lyrics, she brought her guitar and a song was born. Together we penned, “Like Today Lasts Forever.” I wanted a simple but sweet song to let Kyle know that my goal is to live life like our wedding day goes on forever. Though we will face challenges (and we already have of course), this song is a reminder to him that we will get through whatever comes our way and always have this amazing day to look back on. Kyle was not expecting this moment, and it meant the world to me. Katie sang the song flawlessly, while her boyfriend, Nashville musician, Ian Hough accompanied her.
Later on in the reception, another very dear friend (Paul Jolley) took front and center to sing his AMAZING cover of Lonestar’s “Amazed.” As I expected, this was another HUGE highlight.
What else were we traditional on? Well, in my mind, the father/daughter and mother/son dance are VITAL. Kyle and his mom danced to The Band Perry’s “A Mother Like Mine,” while my dad and I danced to Tim McGraw’s “My Little Girl.” 
We also most definitely did the “cake cutting.” Our song was “Pour some sugar on me.” Those who know Kyle and I likely weren’t too surprised that we got into a bit of a cake fight. I’m so not that bride that gets upset about that sort of thing. In fact, at our sunset photos later, Kat informed me that I had frosting in my eyelashes.
And the bouquet/garter toss? I guess a lot of people have quit doing that lately, but the traditionalist in me never ever considered x’ing it. I’m pretty sure “Girls Just Wanna Have Fun” was playing for the ladies and “Highway To the Danger Zone” was playing as Kyle crawled on the floor to the garter toss (that was hilarious and was caught on video). My niece Christina caught the bouquet while his cousin Caine caught the garter (awww).
Other fun facts?
Something old: My great-grandmother’s shoe clip.
Something new: My dress.
Something borrowed: My Mom’s pearl set
Something blue: “I Do” blue rhinestones on the bottom of my shoes. 
At the conclusion of our day, I found myself feeling so thankful. The day I had always waited for had finally happened, and I knew I was going to have great memories of it for the rest of my life. The next morning we drove 13 hours to Ft. Lauderdale to catch our cruise to Ocho Rios and Grand Cayman.
Now here we are almost a year later, and I’m still very thankful. Was planning a wedding easy? Not at all. Was it worth it? Absolutely.
As stated earlier, part 1 is where I talked most about actual budgeting tips. I encourage people to make their own when they can, to borrow when they can, to get creative and to not be afraid of clearances and “second hand.” If you missed that blog, I would encourage you to check out that one too.
With that said, in part 3, I will conclude my long drawn out series and give you some local venue recommendations if you wish to have a “humble but beautiful wedding.”
